Ty

It plays exactly like Overwatch, except it is a dumbed-down version with simplified combat for the zoomer generation of gamers who can barely read or write. It’s not bad, it’s not great, it’s just barely fresh enough that it feels like I’m playing Overwatch for the first time all over again, the only issue is that I already pumped hundreds of hours into the game that inspired Marvel Rivals, and I will most likely grow tired with Rivals very quickly.

The Last Voyager of the Demeter isn’t the best anything, it isn’t even the best horror movie that released that month, it’s a boring slog of movie that wastes every great opportunity that it has on its journey to becoming one of the most underwhelming horror movies of 2023, but you would never know it according to Tyler Skeen, a fake paid reviewer who literally writes the same thing for every movie; every horror movie is the best he’s ever seen, every movie is a 5 star masterpiece, guy might think he has people fooled but not me, he’s dink, a clown, a fake, a phony. The Last Voyage of the Demeter lacks everything that is important for a horror movie to be effective - it lacks impactful scares, it lacks tension, it lacks character building. The scares are the most unforgivable considering they have one of the biggest names in horror history at their disposal - Dracula. Too bad he isn’t scary in the slightest, and the lack of character development made it so I truly didn’t care what happened to any of the characters. Generic sailor 1 and 2 were killed? Oh no, wait, who were they again? The guy with black hair? Which guy with black hair? The only actor I recognized was the greatest smuggler in Westeros and even then it really doesn’t matter because it’s a prequel and everyone already knows that Dracula survives so who really cares? It’s a shame to say but there hasn’t been a scary Dracula movie since Gary Oldman did it best way back in 1992 and this is no exception. As disappointing as Talk to Me was with its nonsensical ending, I’m probably even more let down by The Last Voyage of the Demeter because of the potential to create a truly claustrophobic nightmare scenario for the viewer.

Everyone already knows what this game is - more pandering to a sad small percentage of gamers who if relied upon for game sales, would result in the total collapse of the industry. When a game influenced by Sweet Baby Inc releases, the people who helped turn the industry into the juggernaut that it is today are only blamed for the games inevitable failure but never credited if it succeeds, it’s a lose lose situation for that demographic so why even try to pretend anymore? It’s obvious people are done with DEI in gaming so they might as well just own it because as I just mentioned, they will be blamed regardless. Flintlock isn't even that good of a game, so even if you removed the criticisms from the equation you would still have a basic 3rd person action title that tops out at mid reviews. The worst part is that devs hate the very people they need for sales numbers, so why even bother supporting them?

Season 3: Some Spoilers As viscerally entertaining as the first 2 seasons were, season 3 has failed to impress on any of the levels that made made 1+2 must watch TV. The end of season 2 set-up some awesome possibilities for the 3rd season, notably Homelander going full scorched earth on everyone as he came ever closer to reaching his breaking point, but any chance of Homelander causing further damage came crashing down when it was revealed that he cares more about likes, views and followers than anything else. While the premise of how social media would affect super heroes in a modern world is interesting and explored during seasons 1 and 2, it can’t be the only engine driving these characters, it just can’t. Eventually it becomes a lazy cop-out that erases episodes worth of story arcs; Homelander is dating a nazi war criminal who he shares similar ideals with, things are about to get very saucy, right? Nope..just spin it a certain way via Vought social media and he is absolved of all sins. Even more perplexing is the shows decision to keep Stormfront alive after she is burnt to a crisp, only to kill her off in the worst way possible. Even Ryan who is responsible for inflicting the catastrophic damage on Stormfront has all but vanished from this season. Another highly annoying trend with the show is yet another A-train death fake-out, how many times are they going to kill this highly unlikeable character only to bring him back? Better yet, why do it at all? Are people really that invested in A-Train who has done nothing for the show since blowing through Hughie’s former love interest? Why keep dedicating time to this character? It just doesn’t make any sense. The introduction of soldier boy has been mediocre at best and his fight with Homelander was anti-climatic, all 30 seconds of it. The big reveal so far is that soldier boy is Homelanders father (gasp) so what will they do with it? Both characters are bad, bad supes, and anything short of these two combining forces and wreaking havoc on planet earth will be disappointing. The Boys seems to be heading the direction that TWD did, running over the same story formula, but with different characters, while it should have went the route of GOT, killing off meaningful characters by the dozens. Here is hoping that if the series doesn’t improve, then it ends with a bang, but The Boys has become the newest intolerable fan craze, creating a big, fat, cash cow, so it is highly improbable that the show will end any time soon and while it is very possible that the show turns things around, history has shown time and time again that a vast majority of shows burn through the best ideas within the first 3 (max 4) seasons.

“Personally, I understood the point the movie was trying to make. But I felt the execution was extremely poor and a lot of the visuals were completely unnecessary to demonstrate the aformentioned point” -Veegzee I noticed this gem as the top comment for the movie The Lobster and I had to comment on the stupidity of the reviewer. So let’s break down this paragraph of nonsense: “Personally, I understood the point the movie was trying to make” Uh-huh, right..and what point was that? “visuals were completely unnecessary to demonstrate the aformentioned point” The reviewer refers back to the earlier comment about a point that was never made clear! Mind-boggling the stupidity of this person. Let’s continue.. “I understand the satire of it. But the humor really just missed the mark in humor throughout so much of the movie” Wow. Just reading this hurts my head..no need to dissect that one. Moving on! “I don't even think it was that bizarre, frankly. There was nothing especially clever about it. The ideas themselves might be somewhat surreal, but "bizarre" implies that the concepts are unusual” Oh, is that what “bizarre” implies? So glad that Webster graces us with an exact definition of bizarre. I could go on and on and on with Veegzee’s barely legible review of the film, but I think the POINT has been made. The only reason I wanted to tear Veegzee the turd down is because the review is portrayed as fact as opposed to opinion. The Lobster is hardly for everyone, but Veegzee’s inability to truly comprehend the film resulted in an oddly bitter and seemingly personal critique of an entertainingly humorous dark comedy. Worse yet..165 people liked the review. 165 other people found Veegzee’s review to be helpful. That’s tragic and those people should be turned into animals.

A horror/comedy/mystery staring Sam Richardson (no idea) and the girl from the AT&T commercials. With a star studded cast like that, how could it fail, right? I watched “Werewolves Within” via the Showtime app thinking that it would at least be moderately entertaining in the same sense that Dude Bro Massacre or other horror parodies are, but I was wrong. The movie is devoid of any humor or horror and after watching the AT&T girl actually act, it is obvious why she is not on screen for more than 30 seconds at a time. You would be fine to skip this snoozer.

There is a mindset in modern America that being different automatically results in being better. If a movie is heavy on dialogue then it’s brave in todays dumbed-down movie culture and it must be great. If a movie features marginalized groups then it must be great. If shots in a movie make no sense then it must be great and smart! The Humans uses all of these aspects while focusing on the mundane everyday human existence and just expects the audience to care because that is what is expected now; to view something as special because it’s different. Just because something can be made, doesn’t mean that it should, and the The Humans feels like some vanity project that should never have been given the green light. Avoid at all costs.

M. Night is as polarizing a director as they come, so much so that I get the impression that many of the amateur reviews are done so out of some odd disdain for the divisive writer/director. I stand with the opinion that Night hasn’t been able to replicate the insane success that he had during his early career, but with this latest release, he at least shows that he still has more than a few tricks left up his sleeve. At its best, Old is a tense, thriller/mystery that asks a lot of mind- provoking questions about life and behavioral health; at its worst, it falls into the classic Night habits of failing to answer the very questions that it asks while doing so at the pace of 3 legged turtle. Old would have made a spectacular Black Mirror episode, running at 45 to 60 minutes, instead, it runs past this mark at what felt much longer than it’s hour and 48 minute runtime. Personally, I had a good time with it, but I also watched it for free on HBO Max which is what I would recommend

I’ll be one of the few who writes a review that doesn’t praise Fury to the heavens, but it felt as all the kids say these days..cringe. The cinematography and sound are amazing and the action sequences felt like a tense chess match as the slowly plodding tanks fired away at one other. Fury is a great WW2 action film to turn your brain off to on a Saturday afternoon, but if you’re looking for more meaning from the soldiers in the way that Saving Private Ryan humanized it’s characters, you won’t find it with Fury. The dialogue felt like it was written by a first year film student who can only imagine how WW2 vets must have spoke, and the characters are so one dimensional and unlikeable that I kept waiting for Shia LeBeau or Jon Berenthal to get blown-up in spectacular fashion. The latter of which I absolutely despised the entire film, which attests to Berenthal’s ability to play a great villain. I understand that war is hell and that it reduces men to their most basic instinct..survive..but that angle just doesn’t transition to film well, especially when the existing bond between brothers in arms is such an easily identifiable characteristic in soldiers. It should never be a struggle to make characters in a war movie likable or at the very least relatable, but Fury somehow manages to make the characters so damn boring. That’s really it..you want a fun movie that goes boom-boom, then Fury is for you, if not then idk..go watch Sicario