Steven Shao

Saw Infinity Castle twice in 4DX and yeah — it’s like someone turned emotional trauma into a fireworks show with a billion-dollar budget. The 4DX seats hit harder than a real street fight; save your massage money and let the chairs work your spine while popcorn flies at Mach 3. The castle? Basically a Roblox copy-paste fever dream powered by anxiety and drum solos. You never know if you’re watching a boss fight or a Cirque du Soleil audition for demons. Hashira group therapy disguised as sword fights? Back and better than ever. Everyone’s crying beautifully while demons are being diced in 4K. Demons have feelings too you know? The animators clearly traded their souls for extra frames per second - definitely not Sora here. By the halfway point, I stopped counting flashbacks. There should be a director’s cut that’s just 120 minutes of flashback trauma reels, and Akaza still trying to remember what is going on, when, how, why, where. Infinity Castle has zero respect for OSHA. I don’t know who is going to clean up all this mess until the second part comes out. Giyu carried the whole movie on stoic energy alone. And that guy in yellow? Absolutely not the Zenitsu I know — and I hate that this film made me love him. 10/10 for animation, 9/10 for emotional-damage recovery, and a full 100/10 for commitment to making me question whether the 4DX water spray was part of the movie or just my tears.

Okay, so apparently programs now have a 28-minute limit before the Grid kicks them out. Is that how long Prime Video plays before playing ads? And the guy spends half of it chasing something called a permanence code — which honestly sounds like an unhealthy addiction. Then Ares finally becomes a “real boy,” and his first act of sentience is… simping - Instantly. One nice human girl says hi, and he’s ready to throw his source code into the recycling bin. Bravo. That was honestly the most realistic part of the movie. If Ares had been a teenager, this would’ve been a documentary. And yes, they still 3D-print an entire human body in five seconds flat — faster than in game respawn. Meanwhile, the most advanced AI in the world short-circuits because of rain. Rain. On the Grid. There’s literally water in there, guys. Visually stunning though. Every frame looks like a tech startup’s dream PowerPoint. 10/10 for vibes, 6/10 for physics, and 100/10 for emotional accuracy in depicting the eternal struggle of code trying to flirt.