Tosin Laguda

I don’t know if the bad box office figures will finally bring an end to all these Sony Spider-Verse spin-offs, but if it does, I’d be so happy. There’s no better outcome than stopping all the nonsense movies Sony keeps dropping. The best thing to come out of these Spider-Man spin-offs is Venom. Even then, it’s only the first Venom (not the sequels) that really made an impact. Every other one has just been a waste of time. This is the sixth film in Sony's Spider-Man Universe (SSU). It shows the brotherly relationship between Kraven (Sergei Kravinoff) and Chameleon (Dmitri Smerdyakov) and how they parted ways, with Dmitri heading to the U.S. That part sticks to the source material. But the movie focuses more on the relationship between Kraven and his family. We also see how he got his powers. The movie has a slow start that could have been summarized instead of dragging out for over 30 minutes. After an initial prison break in the first five minutes, there’s a long wait before Kraven is back on the escape plane. As you know, Kraven isn’t a hero—he’s a villain. But this movie tries to make him an anti-hero. The story begins with Kraven going to a prison to kill someone and breaking out. Then, it drags on for about 30 minutes, showing Kraven as a young man growing up, who his father is, and why he doesn’t like him. From there, the movie keeps dragging. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why the writers filled this movie with so much unintelligent dialogue. There’s a long stretch—up to an hour—of talking, and none of it is meaningful. The conversations don’t add up to much beyond setting up the next person Kraven has to take down. As Kraven goes about killing people as revenge for what they’ve done to the land—like killing animals for their horns—Rhino kidnaps his brother. So, Kraven now has to figure out how to save him. It feels like the writers were trying to build up to the final fight but didn’t know what to add in between Kraven’s introduction and that fight. You have no idea the level of boredom this movie delivers. I’m not surprised it’s a box office flop. Honestly, the best thing you can do for yourself is not to bother watching this movie. I do hope Sony stop making these movies.

This movie is not bad. I get the feeling that Netflix is trying to create for their subscribers their own Die Hard movie. Acting-wise, this movie delivers. Taron Egerton as Ethan is amazing in creating the sense of urgency the movie needed, keeping you attentive all the way. Jason Bateman as the antagonist had the scare tactic needed when the bad guy is calm and collected and does not seem to care about anything or anyone. Now, that said, both Ethan (Egerton) and the Traveler (Bateman) are no Bruce Willis (playing John McClane) or Alan Rickman (who played Hans Gruber), in Die Hard (1988). Although the movie is ok, I do not have the urge to rewatch this movie every Christmas like I do Die Hard, but it is a ok film altogether. Here is the plot: The Traveler has purchased a chemical called Novichok and intends to deploy it on a plane. The problem is, how is he going to get it onto the plane? Somehow, although not explicitly stated (and I’m guessing here), the bad guys got hold of the TSA agents' list of those who will be there to inspect carry-ons and their contents. They plan to blackmail the agent to let the carry-on pass-through security and onto the plane. They had someone give the TSA agent a misplaced earpiece, which he puts in his ear, and he is then instructed to let the carry-on pass or someone he loves will be killed. Ethan tried everything he could to reach out for help, but the bad guys had cameras on him, so all his movements were tracked. The police arrived at a burnt building, where they suspect that someone took the Novichok from there, and they want to trace it. How they linked the burnt building to Ethan’s attempted phone call to 911 is another example of movie magic, which only the writers understand. The movie is about how Ethan wants to stop these guys, protect the ones he loves, and save the people on the plane the carry-on is on. The things that play against this movie will require you to suspend your reasoning. Good movies tend to draw you in, making you forget you are watching a movie, and immerse you in the lies shown on screen. This movie does not have that immersive quality to make you suspend your senses. While watching, you can notice plot holes that highlight how the bad guys’ plan would fail under normal circumstances. For example, giving a TSA agent a device, like in this movie a lost earpiece, won’t play out as the movie shows. Why Ethan thought it was a good idea to put it in his ear while at work is hard to believe. Airport security is high stakes, no TSA agent will think of doing that, he will hand it off to someone nearby, and not leave their post to attend to a call, even though there is someone else on the other end. The chances of someone successfully blackmailing you over the phone these days are slim, most people hang up rather than engage. With all that said, I will say go see this movie. It is on Netflix, and it will suit a nice weekend.

I stayed away from reviews to avoid bias in my view of this movie. The Crow (1994) is, to me, one of the best movies I have ever seen. I love it so much that it’s a 10/10 on my blog because of how good it is. It digresses (more than half) from the comic on which it is based because the movie portrays Eric as a hero, whereas the comic presents him as someone who is not mentally stable. Notwithstanding, the 1994 adaptation is amazing. When this movie started, and I saw that this reboot plot is straying from both the original and the comic, I began to worry. The plot of The Crow, as I know it from the comic and the original movie, shows Eric and Shelly without much connection to drugs or rehab. But, as I continued watching, I realized this movie is its own adaptation, delving into its own material, much like the various sequels of The Crow after the 1994 version. For that reason, I am judging this movie on its own merits as a film, like I’ve done with all the sequels that followed the 1994 version. The plot is about Eric and Shelly, two drug addicts who met at a rehabilitation center. Shelly’s friend recorded an incident involving Shelly and Roeg on her phone, and sent the video to Shelly, but she was killed for having it. Shelly is hiding in the rehab center while on the run. When she discovers she has been found, she and Eric escape the rehab and start a life together. However, Roeg sends people after them, and they soon catch up with the couple, killing them both. Eric is brought back to life by the Crow, tied to the land of the living by his pure love for Shelly. Now, he must exact revenge on the people who killed her and also kill Roeg. On its own basis, the main problem with this movie is the bad pacing and the lack of depth in the antagonist, Roeg. It takes almost forty-five minutes to show the effects of Eric being brought back to life by the Crow. Additionally, there is a lack of fluidity in the reasoning behind some of the actions. For instance, while it’s clear the antagonist sends innocents to hell for eternal life, the film does not sufficiently explain how he obtained this deal, who else is involved in it, and how he is able to grant this delay of death to others or if he can. I wouldn’t say the movie is unwatchable, but it lacks the impact of a film I’d want to watch again. Additionally, there are so many loose ends that it feels like the creators were hoping to turn it into a franchise. Sadly for them but fortunately for audiences, the poor box-office returns will likely prevent that from happening anytime soon.

Movies like to make us feel we can survive alien attacks, even when those aliens are far more advanced in technology. This movie attempts to explore that concept, with no originality. The movie is derivative and boring, making it hard for me to recommend. While the acting is good, the pacing of the movie is off. A lot of times, I felt the movie was just dragging things because the writers had nothing to add. I spent the first 30 minutes at the beginning begging for something to happen. But sadly, it was just lacking any form of momentum. In addition to this, the film seems to neglect important plot details, leaving me confused. I, for one, cannot wrap my head around the way Nina came up with the idea of using magnesium to fight the aliens is never properly explained. It’s a plot point that could have been developed more clearly. The plot centres on an Earth that’s been ravaged by sinkholes. These holes have unleashed creatures known as Reapers that wiped out most of the human race. The survivors live in high altitude colonies. As they discovered that the aliens are unable to go beyond any point that is 8,000 feet and above. The reason for this is not shared. Will (Anthony Mackie), lives in one of these colonies with his son, Hunter, who is suffering from a life-threatening lung disease. The main plot begins when Hunter, seeking distraction from his loneliness, ventures out of the safety of the colony and is pursued by a Reaper. He makes it by crossing the line, which designates where the 8000 feet and above starts. We then see that Hunter’s illness is getting worse and Will, desperate to find more medicine for his son, seeks help from Nina. Nina was with Will’s wife when she died. Nina agrees to join Will on his journey due to her lingering guilt over his wife’s death. Together with one of Will’s friends, they set out on a mission to find a research lab so they can get medicine and go by Nina lab, where Will hopes Nina can still find a way to kill these aliens. To reach the lab, they plan to use old mining tunnels that Will is familiar with from his past as a miner. The idea of using old mining tunnels as a means of survival could have made for an intriguing journey, but it played into the realm of, “I have seen this before.” As you can guess, they get cornered, and from here the film dulls the overall experience. In the end, I doubt this movie will get the sequel, as it doesn’t seem to have made enough of an impact at the global box office. Not worth wasting your time to see it.

There must be something I am missing, why was this movie made so poorly? There is nothing new in the story, it is highly predictable, as in so highly predictable that after you have seen it for like fifteen minutes, you can guess with 99% accuracy every main plot string that was going to happen. And whatever you guessed wrong in the movie, will not matter much to the sum of things, neither will it make you go, “Oh! That’s nice.” The writing and directing is what you will expect from one of those Hallmark Christmas movies, not something with Ben Stiller in it. The plot is simple, Ben Stiller is a top guy in Chicago who just lost his sister and his brother-in-law. They have four children, and the responsibility of caring for these children fell on his lap. He so happens to have a project presentation deadline, which coincides with him having to go to Ohio to sign documents about the children. The problem is, the family that the children are supposed to be sent to did not work out, so he has to care for the children until they can find another family for them. You will think with a plot like that, the movie will have touching moments, or even moments that will make you cringe a little, but no such thing. No touching moment or cringy feeling was felt by me watching this movie, because nothing happening on screen mattered. It was like I was watching a fantasy movie, why? Because the plot is highly unrealistic. I took my time to try and find out when this movie was set in, maybe in the 80s or 90s (and they forgot to remove the gadgets) because by the way it was done it looks like it was set in this present time the 2020s, and I was right. Based on the MAC laptop, phone, and the Excel 365 he was using to do his project (had to pause to zoom in to check), this was set in the 2020s. If that is the case, can someone tell me, why he had to drive to a town to sign some documents? What happened to sending it to him in an email? What is all this no connection nonsense, when broadband and cell phone availability in Ohio is not as lack as the movie makes it to be? Also, he has a presentation, and he is in another state because of a family emergency, so you are telling me that his office cannot allow him to do the presentation online? Which office will come after you because you lost your sister, this is the 2020s workers have rights? Finally, nobody can force you to care for any children, it is not done even in third-world countries where I am from. If you do not want the kinds, then it is not a problem, the government will handle it. This movie was a total waste of my time.

This is a horrible animation. I do not even understand how they made this animation this way with such bad writing. The only intention that I can get from this production is that it will entertain no one except for children who will not understand what is going on, but like the colorfulness. Which is very bad work on their part, when the whole idea of how this movie will play out is, “let us make it bright and sparkling, kids will be engulfed by that.” This animation is not meant to be viewed or liked by an adult, because I saw this movie and I felt like punching the TV. It is the way the animation starts that gets me at first. I told myself, overlook the bad songs, and the very odd CGI, this idea of starting the movie, at the point of the parents being monsters and everyone must work around this to keep the populace in the dark seemed intriguing at first. Then came the execution of this good idea. The distance between the people that know and the people that do not, and then the incidents which were meant to be funny, just fell by the wayside. Then came the little girl who must deal with this, she got help from some oracle telling her that the parents are the only ones who can break the spell which has turned them into monsters. How did the parents become monsters? They went on a journey to the dark forest of eternal darkness (I do not know if the reason for this journey was justified, but the idea is they went), and it was there that they got turned into monsters. It is worth saying here that, they are not monsters who know they are parents or aware that they are the king and queen of the land of Lumbria, more of monsters acting like pets. So, the little girl Ellian (the princess of Lumbria) does not have the time to be a little girl anymore. She and the people who know, spend most of their time taking care of these large monsters. The time is coming, and the people are getting impatient, so Ellian knows she must come up with a way to turn her parents back. That is when she summoned the oracle and is hit with the news that the parents must embark on a journey to the Lake of Light. It was while on this journey, the monsters got their voices back and had some level of reasoning returned to them. What can I say, I have wasted time watching an animation this horrible.

When there is a movie, which stars Ryan Reynolds, John Krasinski and a wonderful voice cast of Steve Carell, Phoebe Waller-Bridge and others, you will think, this must be good. Then it is about the imaginary friends, which people had when they were younger and have now grown out of, you will accept that you are in for a ride. But sadly, this is a very boring movie. IF is a fantasy comedy movie, that does not offer anything in the fantasy realm to hold your attention, nor anything in the comedy genre to make the movie memorable. The movie is written and directed by John Krasinski, but the story never took off. It had a very dull start, and never even tried to change pace. The ability to stay awake when seeing this movie is a talent, which I am sorry I was not blessed with. I was only able to see it through to the end thanks to the power of pausing. Yeah, streaming this movie on Paramount+ was the best decision I made when I decided not to go see this in the cinema. It drove me to sleep, and I had a nice nap. Woke up, took it back to where I stopped (where Cal (Reynolds) took Bea to Memory Lane Retirement Home 40 minutes in) and watched it through to the end, and regretted doing that. IF (imaginary friends) is about a little girl named Bea. Bea has seen her mother pass due to cancer and is now facing the trouble of her father having a heart condition. Bea is only twelve years old and is now staying with her grandmother. On her way home from the hospital, she saw this creature, which did not look real. She followed the creature, which went to her home and ran upstairs to some other apartment. This happened again, and this time Bea noticed the creature was with a man named Cal, and they were on their way to retrieve a large creature named blue. It was there Bea met the creature she saw earlier, a butterfly looking thing, and she faints. She awakes in Cal’s apartment, the one upstairs her grandmother’s, and she meets blue, and learns that blue and the butterfly creature Blossom are imaginary creatures, who no longer have kids, as the kids have all grown up. Cal is trying to see if it is possible for him to find them new kids. The problem is, the kids have to connect with the creatures, and only with this connection can they see these creatures. So Bea decided she too will like to help Cal achieve this, and while going through the motion of visiting her father in the hospital, she is out there, trying to link imaginary creatures to new kids. As I said, the story looks like it will be an amazing time in front of the screen, but it is anything but that.

The movie has a lot of one-liners for how to be a better person, but not enough actual good plot to make this a good movie, worth recommending to anyone. Funny enough, even though many critics dislike this film, I found it ok. I felt the movie, did its job of creating an action world, where Santa is like guarded by these top notch, secret service agency of mythical creatures, one step above the James Bond world of gadgetry. I can tell that the whole macho madness that this movie has can be very annoying, it has so many muscle flex scenes that do not matter to anything useful at all. If you look at the level of CGI in this movie, and the number of A-list actors it has, you can see why many believe Amazon spent way too much. This is not a box-office breaking movie, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for me, has never been a reason to run to the cinema to see a movie, even though many production companies’ think so. 250 million on production alone, is way too much for a movie, with a plot like this, that to me is not meant to bring in more than half that amount from viewing. Here is what the plot is about. We are introduced to a world where Santa is real, and he does the whole thing of visiting the kids every Christmas day to give them gifts. It turns out that there is an agency called MORA, who deals with these mythical creatures, led by Zoe (Lucy Liu), they maintain the relationship between us humans and these creatures. Santa has his own, next level James Bond like secret detail who protect him and run his affairs of being Santa, called ELF (Enforcement, Logistics and Fortification), led by Cal (The Rock). As you can expect, Santa is not without enemies, and one of them contacted the best tracker in the world, Jack (Chris Evans) to help pinpoint where Santa is. Jack is unaware of who the people who contacted him are trying to track, he just does the job. Well, Santa is kidnapped, and MORA was able to track the person involved to Jack, now he and Cal must find and rescue Santa to save Christmas. I know it sounds like every Christmas movie, that gives you the run around and says, they must now work together to save Christmas. Well, it is like every Christmas movie, with Jack being the unbeliever, who gets to see that his actions have consequences. It is an okay movie as I said, but it is very hard to say, run and go see it.

This is an ok movie, fun to watch, I cannot say if it is worth your time or not, but not seeing this movie will not be written that you missed a masterpiece. Now in case you want to be surprised, about who Lucius is, then do not read on because everyone who knows about this movie already does, so for you Spoiler Warning below. The movie takes place sixteen years after the events of the first movie Gladiator (2000), Maximus (Russell Crowe) is dead, and now we see the events after his death. There was shared knowledge in the first movie, that Maximus was the father of Lucius (whose mother is Lucilla), and this movie shows us that Lucius was sent away by his mother to protect him from assassins. This movie fails to rise above its predecessor. The first Gladiator movie was a 10/10 in my book, this movie had more action scenes than it, to make up for the lack of a deep story. But even though the action and blood were more, the lack of deepness in the plot hurt the movie overall feel. For me, it was like, they took the first film and decided to redo it, but change some things. The main eye-catching thing about this movie is Denzel Washington. Another sad thing about this movie for me was, when it started, and I heard the intro music, I was like Hans Zimmer is back. Later as the movie progressed, I felt, this isn’t Zimmer, then did my check and realised he did not come back to score the movie, because he did not want to. The plot to me was the only led down in this movie, it was like the action was the focus and the plot, no matter how half-baked, was wrapped round it. Lucius is living in a land called Numidia, which got invaded by the Romans, and he was enslaved. He was then and the rest of the slaves were taken to a stable, where Macrinus noticed him, and took him under his wing. Lucius had a goal to kill General Acacius, because he led the army that invaded Numidia where his wife was killed in the invasion. So, he is on a revenge hunt, and was promised that he will get his time for revenge if he rises in the Gladiator ring. As you can see, all these are just ideas from the first film. So we get to watch, just like in the first film, the plot to reign in Rome, the plot losing its grip, the Gladiator getting his fight, and the end where that is the only thing concerning more death that they decided to change. Sitting down to watch this movie is a decision to not compare it to the first film, because it does not measure up to the first film’s plot, acting and depth.

Fifteen minutes into the movie and absolutely nothing was happening, I was bored and absolutely confused on what the point of all the cultural significance that is being bestowed on Moana. It was like, the writers felt, they needed to elevate her more, after all she has done in the first Moana. Moana 2 is a cash grab, it is Disney being so much in need of a win, that they decided to just turn what was meant to be a series for Disney +, to a movie, just to get a box-office win. Moana 2, like this predecessor, is a CGI animated feature movie, featuring the voices of Auliʻi Cravalho and Dwayne Johnson. So, what do we the unfortunate movie watcher get? Too much bone and so little meat. A forgettable experience in the movies, with songs that do not stick to the tongue like the ones in the first Moana movie in 2016. The succinct plot is that Moana has been searching for other people like her own people on the island, so that they can connect (connect the people of the ocean). Because of her heroic adventure with Maui, she has been elevated to the person who will connect the people of the ocean. Problem is, after the events of the first movie, she has been searching for others and has not been able to find anyone. Like all movies go, during the ceremony she gets a revelation, which I always wonder, when these ancestors come to visit to give us directions on our path, why not just tell us what to do. Give us a map and be very direct. Why be cryptic and send Moana to find a light to guide her to find the people of the island of Motufelu, which was sunk by a storm god Nalo. To make it more intense, she must do this to save the people on her own island from extinction. So, when does she begin this journey? Well, like almost 30 minutes in, with a crew of people from her island. How does Maui connect? Well, he too is trying to find Motufetu (coincidence isn’t it), and he has some issues with Nalo, and Nalo's chief henchman, has him captured hoping he will reach out to Moana for help. Maui refuses, because he fears for her life, if she comes to help him. One thing I know is that this movie will rake in millions and probably get to over a billion in the box office, it is possible, but we need better materials and not just Disney doing some spin-off of a series to a sequel. Not worth the watch.