Jake Ulrich

Tried giving this game another chance. Downloaded it, got stuck on the satellite loading screen (how has that bug not been fixed after three years), restarted and played a game of conquest. I spawned, severely lagged, and was immediately headshot from across the entire map. Showed me everything I needed in 5 seconds of gameplay.

It’s just like the old show, except if it was on methamphetamine and subsequently exploded in the lab that it was cooked in.