Skylar Featherstone

Miles Teller is the moment. His feet were so loose I’m pretty sure they detached from his body. Somebody had to pick them up and give them back. Nobody can contain this man. What a legend. I wish I were the car he spat on. His performance alone is Oscar worthy. It’s a yeehaw from me. All around amazing acting from this man. The way he single handedly took out four men on his own and then proceeded to have one of the most fantastic dance numbers I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I have been depressed and in my room unable to walk for eight years. When I saw Miles Teller learn how to dance and slay the town with his dance moves I was suddenly able to walk again. I danced down the hall. I spun and shimmied. My depression was cured. The only way I am able to walk and continue to live a productive life now is by playing the scene where he begins to dance on repeat. It gives me a purpose. Miles Teller should have played every character in the film. Chefs kiss to his performance. This man is so cool he is a solid AC unit. An absolute ac UNIT. I wish I could one day even come close to his godlike structure. He truly is a blessing not only in this movie. Every time he entered the frame I heard angles singing. Every time he blessed the world with his appearance I tried to smile but I couldn’t because I was blown away with his performance. I was so blown away there was nothing left of me but the essence of the angel that is Miles Teller. When Thanos snapped his fingers he made sure Miles Teller stayed because there cannot be a universe where this angelic man does not exist. All around absolutely stunning performance. His very existence is enough to cure all that is bad in the world. Let’s hear it for the boy. The one and only Miles Teller. ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

I disliked this movie more than I disliked the rude lady who kept banging on the bathroom stall while I was trying to poo. Both had the same vibes.

This is the single greatest movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Everyone who has left a 1 star review has absolutely no taste I’m sorry. The movie is literally supposed to be bad and that is why it’s the greatest thing ever. The whole thing is just so amazingly perfect. I live solely for this movie now. I seriously suggest that you should stop what you’re doing right now and go watch Velocipastor. If it’s not your favorite movie ever within the first 2 minutes then I cannot help you regain your sense of humor or humanity.

Okay I’m just going to start by saying I came from the second movie because it was just so wildly messed up that I had to see what the first one was about. . . I don’t even know where to begin . . . The kid says “cr@p” twice and I thought this was supposed to be a kids movie... I’m just glad nobody blew up any foster homes in this one. I don’t really think the whole dad yelling at the kid thing was a big deal. I had a bigger problem with the fact that all the animals treated the kid so rudely and then ended up living in his house. That and the continuity errors were just so wild. Like 90% of the movie just did not make any sense which is fine I guess. Also maybe this is just me but there’s a weird bunny at the end that makes me extremely uncomfortable. Im also convinced that the raccoons marriage was falling apart because my guy was just all over the place. Why did they make the mom so thicc though? Also I cannot believe that the mom straight up is literally in a relationship with Bigfoot. AND at the end the kid got a foot b*ner again when the girl walked to school with him. IT HAPPENED IN BOTH MOVIES!!! I cannot believe that this is a real movie. Why had the dad never heard of the internet???? ISN'T he literally a doctor and supposedly he didn't disappear that long ago. There is just so much to say. I feel like this entire movie was just one big deleted scene from a bunch of other movies. I am so much more confused than I’ve ever been. That being said though I do think it was much better than the second movie just because the second movie was so just outlandish and horrible.

This contains spoilers but it's okay. When the flannel guy said he blew up his foster home when he was little ON PURPOSE, that kinda caught me off guard. Time stamp for that is 1:15:40. I don't think kids in foster homes in America are blowing up their homes. Also why does the kid have the power to heal and not his dad Bigfoot who literally gave him the powers?? Like what. And to make things worse his FOOT got a b*ner when the girl kissed him. I just don't understand. Sure Texas is kinda problematic BUT I still don't think foster kids would blow up their house just to blow it up. I'm sorry but that part just really struck a nerve. On top of it all, I found out this is a SEQUAL!! I'm just so confused. There are just so many things wrong with this movie and I cannot believe children are watching this. ALSO the flannel foster home destroyer literally sad “damn” as a curse like is that allowed for children’s movies???