Wendy I think you are so strong having to face the world with honesty. Substance abuse is so hard and is a real problem in the world. God is good and the devil makes us feel every time we go through something or feel stressed we need substance to keep going but in all, all we need is God and we will be okay. God bless you and keep being honest. Thats the only way to change. The devil wants us to lie and hide it. The more youre open the more you will have the help you need. Dont worry about all the negatively, itll just bring you down. You got this girl. Day by day.