T M

The message I got was that he starts off with his life in perfect order and discipline but he's empty inside, lonely, disconnected, numb. He doesn't even realise it. He's become cold, detached, used to it. Then his subconscious attacks. He has a massive panic attack. Psycho-somatic symptoms and physical pains, no physical signs for a diagnosis of any physical cause of ailment. It's psychological. It throws him out of his strict routine, and in his disoriented state he does something out of character. He wanders into a doughnut shop in the early morning hours upon leaving the hospital. There, his journey starts into chaos, finding new connections, mending old ones. He starts living life. It's messy, it's awkward, it doesn't make sense. But he's enjoying it. In the end, everything's a disaster surrounding him, carnage, catastrophe. Yet, he's peaceful, he's connected, cared for and caring of others, and he's present, he's fine, he's calm. Why? Because he's found himself in connecting with others. For me, the message is that it's better to be connected to others even if life isn't simple or straight forward, because it makes you confident and content. Connection is better than having your life in a perfect routine and discipline, all in order but totally disconnected from others, from humans, from emotions. This book is the transformation from where everything appears perfect on the outside but there is fear and anxiety on the inside, to where everything is chaos on the outside but on the inside there is calm, confidence, contentment. The bridge between the two alternative states of existing is - connection. That's it.

I found it comforting and warm. A story about how fulfilment is found in love, connection, peaceful surroundings (which some find boring), and the Hollywood stardom life (which some find exciting) leads to depression, dysfunction and drug overdose. Subtle yet clear message. The main character doesn't spell it out. She tells the story in a non-judgmental, no blaming, no shaming manner. Her character is sweet and innocent. Personally, I'd prefer Duke's narcissism held accountable. I'd also like her unwise choices to enable him be addressed in hindsight from a mature perspective. I didn't get any sense of this from the writer and that's frustrating and disappointing. Duke's manipulation and emotional abuse seems sort of normalized. The brother, the husband, nobody addresses Duke's narcissism. It's supposed to be such that nobody says a bad word because their characters are to be seen as very lovely, not critical, wholey pleasant people. Personally, I disagree with not addressing bad behaviour that harms others. Whilst the characters are charming, I found that part very frustrating indeed. However, all characters were well written, it was easy to feel, hear and see their tone, mannerisms, personalities. If not for the emotional abuse and narcissism of Duke's character through out the book, I'd read it again for the charm of the people on the cherry farm.