Luc Normand

Don't expect whimsical and DEFINITELY don't let small children watch (don't worry... I didn't). This ain't The Princess Bride and it ain't The Holy Grail either. I initially assumed this movie would be relevant for those who grew up with this (these?) fairy tale(s). I figured many of those giving a bad review likely were, like me, learning of these stories for the first time. Some reviewers are just angry that it's not cutesy. Honestly though, if we stop to think about nearly any fairy tale, how many of them are NOT rooted in deep sociopathy and the stench, selfishness and moral deviance of inbred royalty? Am I right? This one was clearly crafted outside Hollywood as displayed by the lack of utopian endings (you know, the kind that fails to honestly portray the aforementioned shortcomings of the ruling class?) and, as pointed out by another reviewer, the questionable treatment of animals. So back to my assumption that those who grew up with these stories probably gave 5 stars. Seems likely, right? But then I searched up Giambattista Basile and that's when I learned just how poor an adaptation of the original stories this actually was. And by poor, I mean like not even close. Loosely based doesn't cut it. Rewritten during a cocaine hangover is more likely so long as it's an angry hangover with zero sense of humour. For those, like me, who couldn't stop themselves from inflicting the entire 2h 13m on themselves, I'd say it's still worth 5 stars simply for the conversations this could spark amongst knowledgeable Basile fans. It's also worth 5 stars simply for the conversations this could spark amongst people who have no clue who Basile was or his stories. BUT it's worth ZERO stars for any mix of those two groups. Honestly. Oh, and, also worth zero stars as cautionary tales... I mean... just don't do monarchies, oligarchies, or whateverarchies in the first place. Problem solved.