Logan Tomaszeski

SPOILERS This movie genuinely feels like a new age torture method, something the government developed to extract information from prisoners of war. The plot is insanely stupid, bouncing from one IP from the next as it try’s to glaze Warner Bros as much as possible. Every major character is stupid in their own special way. Dom, Bugs Bunny, and even Lebron James the main protagonist, who by the way is treated as a literal god in this movie. Not only is he referred to as “King James” by everyone (I know it’s his nickname in real life, but it’s used a ton here.) but every character is just itching to point out how insanely skilled and famous Lebron is, even the MAIN VILLAIN. Speaking of which, the antagonist “Algae Rhythm” is terrible. His motivations are trash and his plan to become world famous and respected doesn’t even make sense! Like, man, you’re a program. How do you even have the ability to teleport physical humans into the phone and delete them. Won’t the Warner Bros team delete YOU when they find out what happened? The final basketball game is an embarrassment. The Looney team is turned into pavement paste in the first half by horrendous CGI abominations and their don’t use their Looney powers because they “wanted to be more like Lebron.” This is never something they expressed at any time during the movie. When Algae is defeated in the match, he just disappears and lets everyone leave the Serververse. No closure is given, why doesn’t he just delete Lebron and friends in rage? He doesn’t play by the rules. How did Bugs Bunny survive the game breaking glitch? Did he use his Looney powers? HE WAS ERASED FROM THE SERVERVERSE YOU CANT SURVIVE THAT. Couple these problems with terrible acting, IP glazing, and underdeveloped characters, and you have a terrible experience I would not wish on my worse enemy’s. Please do not come in with any expectations whatsoever.

I know this show has been throughly trashed on, but it mostly deserves it. While I think there are some positives to the show (Like the animation for the fight scenes) it’s absolutely buried under a sea of mediocre, cringe slop. Now, you don’t need me to tell you that the world building is terrible, nothing is given good explanations or reasoning, if any at all. The concept of new magic and old magic is pretty interesting, but it’s executed poorly. The characters are a mixture of annoying unfunny morons and underdeveloped blank slates. If I have to give this show credit, Snapdragon and Amaryllis are ok characters, but they’re nothing too special. The plot of this show is, like the world building, underdeveloped and lazy. I could probably write a better narrative on a dirty napkin in a pub after 3 rounds of beer. Random events and new groups of people, like the mermaids, are thrown in. The evil villainous force barely does anything throughout the season before finally kicking it into maximum overdrive in the final episode. It honestly feels like the show is just trying too hard to be heartwarming and cutesy, only including a plot as an afterthought. In the end, HGS accomplishes none of those things and its attempts to do so fall flat. I don’t want to go on too long so I’ll stop here, I wouldn’t even recommend this show as a meme watch to see with your friends, it’s just too boring. Really a huge nothing sandwich of a show. If you were planning to watch it, do something more productive with your time, like watching paint dry.

As the gears that make the world turn grind endlessly on, us mortals need to find entertainment to give joy to our short lives. Sadly, most media nowadays is hopelessly lost in the sauce. Abysmal quality and revolting writing is commonplace, our only refuge now is the true classics. Baby geniuses holds up gloriously well and fills the empty hole in my heart for its entire runtime. I won’t call it a masterpiece, for it is much more than that. It transcends time and space without letting expectations deter its unwavering beauty. They call me obsessed, but no, I am enlightened. Bravo Vince. Bravo.