Tom Servo

Truly terrible, boring, and torturous film to watch. The protagonist was an unlikeable wimp, there was almost no story, and this was not horror by any definition - I don't care what some artsy-fartsy film critic says, it was not remotely frightening. It was so incredibly tedious! The middle of the movie was a smidge interesting but ultimately nothing happened besides the protagonist being worthless (I'm going to go take a nap at the camp while an axe-wielding maniac is on the loose, I'm sure I'll be just fine). The end was baffling; it was 30-ish minutes of strobe lights and loud blaring noise ear rape that gave me a migraine. I stuck through to the end, hoping there was a point to all my suffering, but it just concludes with a wet fart. I'm sure there's some review by a liberal arts major saying the director is a genius and that the story is amazing for not spoon-feeding the audience, but to any sane person who doesn't have their head stuck up their rears huffing fumes, save yourself 2 hours and a migraine and watch a better film.

Dark and depressing in parts but a phenomenal show with an epic story!