Aaron Mata

This Snow White is a soul-crushing abomination, a cinematic landfill fire that makes you question why movies even exist. Rachel Zegler’s performance is a lifeless sleepwalk, her singing so off-key it could wake the dead—ironic for a coma subplot that’s somehow the film’s least coma-inducing part. Gal Gadot’s Evil Queen is a parody of menace, delivering lines like a bored mall kiosk worker hawking perfume samples. The CGI dwarfs? A grotesque parade of uncanny-valley rejects that look like they were rendered on a glitchy PlayStation 2. The script is a mangled mess of woke platitudes and fairy-tale clichés, vomited onto the screen with all the grace of a toddler’s tantrum. Costumes look like they were fished out of a discount bin at Party City, and the direction is so inept it feels like the film was shot by a malfunctioning Roomba with a camera taped to it. This isn’t a movie—it’s a 90-minute apology letter from Disney for ever thinking this deserved to exist. 1/5 stars, and that’s just to post this review which is overly generous —it’s the kind of trash that makes you want to claw your eyes out just to feel something else.