Joaquin Gossen

A good message, a nice story with a few funny jokes mixed in layered with a bit of cheesy 2000s B movie undertons makes a B movie worth watching.

This is a bland and tasteless film that uses Chinese nationalism to try and bring life into the hollow husk of the 90s masterpiece that it is trying to replicate. This alongside the ongoing human tragedy occurring in the filming location being thanked by Disney creates a film that will go on in the likes of Birth Of A Nation and Triumph Of The Will as bloated propaganda for a regime committing the most horrendous acts imaginable.

The clearly preorchestrated plot removes what made the original so funny, the fact that this is supposed to be a poorly crafted hilarious documentary

This is the reason why I am in the quarantine. Additionally I still go to rehab because I am addicted to drinking the blood of every single one of the brainless husks who made this movie. No wonder humanity is doomed. Still better than the Angry Birds Movie though

I’d rather have spiders poured in my ears and a smoking hot metal flagpole impale me then watch a single second of this cancer cupcake

I think this might be the last words I will ever write. This movie has sucked my brain out my ears and deleted all of my brain cells. It was the equivalent of watching what you see in a fever dream as a toy which has melted into an ungodly pile of human misery. This film is truly something. It has removed all meaning, joy or purpose in my life. The animation is like watching the Nazis at the end of Raiders and the lost ark except halfway through their face melting they decided to shoot a movie. 10/10