Natalie Lauer

After Ever Happy. A dyslexic came up with the title, a blind person handled costume design, and quite frankly I'm not sure who wrote the script, but I would pay a large sum to find out their address. The dialogue in this movie consisted of Hardin in different locations whining Tessa's name. With a new plot twist being introduced and then immediately abandoned every six minutes, watching this movie felt like a schizophrenic episode. Between the four-second mention of a fictitious pregnancy, Hardin's eleven dads, and the brief act of arson committed, it's safe to say the screenwriters ran out of ideas two movies ago. At a certain point, I think the budget had reached its limit (most likely from the thousands of dollars they spent importing horse manes from Tuscany to use for Tessa's hair) so in order to reach the hour and a half mark, the producers started throwing in clips from the All Too Well music video and hoped people just wouldn't notice. But maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe a perfect zero on rotten tomatoes was the director's aspiration. Maybe Tessa's dad's dying wish was for his daughter to have an orgasm in the middle of his funeral. Maybe the shirts that were constantly buttoned up to Hardin's chin started cutting off the blood flow to his brain. At the end of the day we need to take a breath, hold our loved ones near, and prepare for the worst because two more movies are coming and there's nothing we can do to stop them. Plan accordingly and proceed with caution.

The only possible way I could see myself enjoying this movie is after "I" fell and suffered a traumatic brain injury. Perhaps I could hallucinate and convince myself the acting wasn't epically atrocious. IF TESSA SAYS "haRdIN" in that whiny voice one more time-. Anyway, this film received a zero on rotten tomatoes and personally, I felt that was a generous rating. Even in the world we live in today, this movie has earned the top spot for societal menaces amongst climate change, Gunna, unemployment, the second amendment, and the coronavirus. To be a social activist is to work against the production of any future films following in this series. Perhaps when Tessa and Hardin collided they smashed the chemistry out. of their bodies, because their facial expressions during the sex scenes displayed agitation and slight constipation as opposed to arousal. As an avid viewer of this series, I'm upset to say I've seen Hardin awkwardly unwrap a condom around 657 times. That said, it is now time to wrap up this series, stay safe viewers.