Stephanie Ferguson

The farm set today has straw bales, not hay. Get it right. Also the title of the new show Brassic stems from Boracic Lint, skint in rhyming slang, so why not say so? Brassic is wrong and sounds like Brassica veg!

This started well, was the teenager really the long-drowned son? But there were more holes in what promised to be a gripping yarn than your average fishing net. When I got to the finale I thought I must have missed an episode it all happened so fast and unrealistically. We saw no kidnap trial, yet Daniel, or was it Tom?was handed over to Jodie just like that. Er? Social services? Disappointing.

Will somebody please tell Mark Kermode in The Observer that Natalie Wood is dead and it is the amazing Rita Moreno, the original Anita, in this gritty remake. Dazzling dance, unusual and unglamorous casting, exciting cinematography, it works big time. Having loved the 60s film, I was worried that it could never be equalled. But this is a more savage take on the star cross'd lovers, Maria and Tony, caught up in the gang wars of a crumbling New York. Don't miss it. It looks gteat

Ignore all the cat-litter criticisms and go for the dance. It's terrific, particularly the tap routines and The Royal Ballet's Francesa Hayward in full, feline flight. Doubtless different from the stage show, it uses the verse from which it sprang, written way back in the thirties, to good effect. More Sheba than Whiskas, oddly moving, I loved the twitching tails and ears. Clever. Old Possum would have approved.

Queen Anne is doubtless spinning in her grave. This hugely hyped film is full of grotesques and Hogarthian caricatures and is decidly unpleasant in its contrived cleverness. Packed with vile language and with a weird throbbing beat inserted over sections of the dialogue, it feels like torture at times. Insertion rules: tongues in royal orifices, fingers ditto, folks rutting behind every tree. It's wonderfully lit and costumed, but deathly slow.. As funny as the queen's ulcerour legs.