niall shaw

If you like to watch paint peel, stare at the walls for hours on end and pick your scalp looking for bits, then this film is perfect for you. Every thirty seconds of this dreadful, excruciating, film there is a loud bang, just in case you fall asleep of total and complete boredom. This is as awful as a film could EVER BE.

It is boring, meandering, pointless and stupid. Which is exactly, ironically, what Mr. Bean was for years. But there was a hidden subterfuge to it all. We were in on the joke with Mr. Bean and we knew that it was all supposed to be what it was. If this was Man Vs. Bean, it might have worked, but there was simply no point to having other caricatures of actors in it. Everyone from the well meaning Police constable to the lame burglars, to the snobby fraudster in the uber rich house, the entitled wife who only cares about her guide book and her silly dog, there is no point to any of them speaking. Which is where the mistake was made, this was all a slapstick exercise. It was classic Rowan Atkinson, he is an incredibly gifted physical comic. He knows how to mug for laughs, he knows how to entertain everyone in this manner. Taken for what this "series" is, it is a live action bug bunny cartoon, a man "home alone" with a computer generated bee. One could forgive all of that, if there wasn't any dialogue, it would have worked. What gives this 1 star is that every time, aside from Rowan Atkinson speaking, we already know what they are going to say, we already know the ending, it is literally told to us in a flashback in the first five minutes of the first episode. So why drawn it out, why torture everyone with the pointless exercise of pretending this is a new character with a new thing? Really disappointing and really pointless. Watch it with the sound off, you may enjoy it more. Just a terrible waste of time.

Absolutely terrible film start to finish. Ridley Scott, great director. Good actors in other films. Check. BUT playing dress up for two hours while everyone tries and fails at an Italian accent is THE WORST. Jared Leto absolutely could star ina one man show about chef Boyardee. Not in a good way. There was no story. Only scenes where the actors played high school dress up. Absolutely terrible. And as a bonus, the worst line ever uttered in cinematic history, “father, son, house of Gucci.” The major actors in this film should have read the script and realized what a hot mess it was. Final word. Lady Gaga was the WORST part. She played every line she learned her accent from Luigi from the simpsons. “Atsa not a spicy meatball”.