Ian Williams

Warning -spoiler alerts below Warning 2 - don’t watch this awful film This film is simply atrocious. I’m halfway through and gob smacked by its stupidity. Yes we all love Blake Lively. Yes she’s a hot blonde with a great body and yes we do enjoy seeing her undressing but you may as well go onto YouTube and type ‘hot blondes in bikinis on beaches’ and disappear down a YouTube wormhole for 90 minutes than waste your time with this. It got sillier and sillier and then she sewed up her shark bitten leg on a rock whilst being pounded by waves with her.... wait for it.... golden necklace and 2 ear rings. For some reason an injured seagull hung around all night but finally left as even a brainless seagull realized that this film was bad for its acting career. I’m going to watch it until the end I think just to see what other stupid stuff happens. Then again i might go outside and pour vinegar in my eyes and roll around in broken glass as it would feel less painful. Okay I’m now an hour in. I’m actually impressed with Lively’s lively (did you see what I did there) acting. I haven’t seen her before and now realize she deserves an Oscar for actually finishing filming this stuff. 30 minutes left - this is making Jason Statham and The Meg look like The Godfather. As I was writing this Blake (we’re on first name terms now) has just put the injured seagull onto a piece of broken surfboard and it’s now casually floating away.....possibly like the rest of Blake’s acting career. I’ve changed my mind. I’m 70 minutes in and it’s time to turn off. I’m going for a long walk, a good burger and a cold beer, at some point I may scream out in the restaurant as the waitress brings my check.... WHY BLAKE WHY !!! Hasta lasagna, Don’t get on ya...... Okay okay okay..... I watched it until the end. Forget everything I said just watch it, you need to see this film. She just set fire to the bloody shark with a flare gun..... forget The Fonz in Happy Days jumping the shark, Blake has just moved into first place. By the way, that’s NOT how the shark dies..... Honestly, cover me in eggs and flour and bake me for 40 minutes, I’m done.