laique kazmi

The only horrifying thing about this movie was that we PAID to watch it. (Spoiler Alert) Remember the silent movies your great grand parents used to watch? Imagine you are watching the same! The dialogue is just as stunning (aka non existent) and easily as comical, though its entirely unintended! It taught me that all you have to do to make a dying woman's life worthwhile is to show her a **itty card trick and bring her pizza. Also don't forget to repeatedly save her mute cat that constantly gets you in trouble with aliens who are smart enough to make it to earth yet have no objective but to kill everything that moves. Furthermore, they chose to come to a planet that is 3/4 waters knowing they can't even swim. We realized soon enough that this was more of an endurance challenge to see who can make it through the movie without losing their **it. I guess I won, however (full disclosure), I had to go after my partner as she "conveniently" left the cinema. I'm assuming she lied about having to make an important phonecall, although I'm still grateful because her act was more suspenseful and interesting than this traumatizing movie's hollow plot. We even discussed sneaking into the showing of Inside Out 2, as that would've had greater emotional depth and character development than this. I should file a lawsuit and get compensation for the mental duress I'm in. I envied every dying character that was able to escape that monotonous misery while I couldn't AND I paid for it. Kindly save your hard earned money! But if you still have to spend it, burn it, throw it, tear it, bury it, do anything else but watch this cinematic abomination.