Erik Uuksulainen

Movie review: Moana 2 It’s been three years for our heroine wayfarer. The island is flourishing. Until she is visited in a dream by a wayfaring ancestor that reveals she needs to find and resurrect an island, sunk by a god, Nalo, or else nobody will be connected to the ocean anymore. Cue assembling a crew, go get Maui, jokes, songs, battle. The end. This was originally a Disney+ series that was last minute revamped into a movie. It feels more direct-to-video. The animation is nice but the plot is thinner than your favorite pair of well-worn socks. It’s fine if you’re looking to see a movie during the holidays with the family. Kids will like it, but it sits in the shadow of the original. No Lin Manuel Miranda soundtrack to lean on this time, the music felt generic. This movie felt like a 90-minute commercial to Moana 3. Disney, fix yourself and don’t shovel out sea garbage. 2.25 chee hoo’s out of 5 (Moana 1 gets a 3.25/5, by comparison)

Movie review: Wicked, Part 1 This movie has HORSEPOWER! It’s part one of two and is very much a musical. That said, you get a confident beginning, middle and end that satisfies. Also, from a ‘musical to movie’ adaptation, I was BLOWN away by how they made it work. So often, previous attempts make you feel like the movie stops to yield to a song, before picking up as a movie once again. Not here. Cinematically gorgeous and energetically paced, 2h40m breezes by. Lead actresses Erivo (outcast) and Grande (mean girl) mesh as the title characters we met during the original Wizard of Oz. Here, we see their introductions and academic relationship shift during a trip to the fabled Emerald City. Both performances as well as singing roles will likely garner Oscar buzz. They have great on screen chemistry. All the pieces are set up for Wicked, Part 2. A surprise hit, though if you’ve seen the musical (I’ve only read the book), you’ve likely already bought your tickets to see this (emerald) gem. 4.25 Hair tosses out of 5.

Movie review: Gladiator 2 Rock beats scissors (sword). The end. A long lost son has a misunderstanding with his step father. Twin emperors can’t get among. A monkey becomes vice-emperor. This movie suffers from a weak script and a horrible edit. For 2:20, you’re expected to just go ‘yep, sure Ridley Scott’. Just rewatch the original Gladiator and save yourself a headache. We were not entertained. 3.25/5. And that’s being generous.

Movie review: A Real Pain Two Jewish cousins, Jesse Eisenberg and Kieran Mullkin, travel to Poland to visit their grandmas birth country, as well as learning about the holocaust of which she survived. This movie is more about the connectedness of two cousins and their journey with the country of Poland as the backdrop. An incredibly engaging movie at 90 minutes and dynamite, authentic acting performance from Eisenberg and Culkin; particularly Culkin. Wow. 4.5/5.

Movie review: Red One Or, as I like to call it, Jumanji 3: The Search for Santa In this movie, you have Black Adam and Johnny Storm On a rescue mission to save J Jonah Jameson what the help of a grumpy polar bear and 1/3 of Charlie’s Angels. This movie shows us the meaning of Christmas and the magic alongside it. The only magic for me, was wondering how the heck they got Dwayne Johnson to fit into a Corvette. Apparently, this movie cost 250 million million dollars not including advertisement. It was supposed to be an Amazon direct to digital release. I think they’re trying to recoup a couple of bucks, so if you see it in theaters your money. Otherwise, you can definitely wait for this to come out digitally for free. 2.5 Kavalame’s out of 5

Review: Anora To preface, Director Sean Baker’s previous two films, Red Rocket and The Florida Project, take the subject matter of regular people whose stories of just trying to live the American dream from their various points in life with a story woven around them makes movies like this the reason I go to the theatre. Often, I’m disappointed, let down by weak stories and overly done CGI. This movie is a 4.25/5 for me. It navigates the world of a sex worker (Anora) who meets a patron (Vanya) and their whirlwind story begins. The pair connect as 20-something’s do and culminate a week of fun and care free living by getting married. Their post-marriage bliss is interrupted when Vanya’s family (powerful Russians with tremendous wealth) reach out via their enforcers to bring the marriage to an annulment. Vanya flees, leaving his wife and the enforcers spending much of the movie trying to find him; all the while his powerful parents are heading state-side to personally see the marriage end. This movie weaves unexpected humor with tense moments; euphoria with sadness and sorrow. It showcases those with wealth and those who have to work for it, and the balance of power and the powerless. I was absorbed with the story and the characters, who Sean Baker writes so that they feel grounded and real. The ending of the movie was stunning and wraps up with our fish out of water Anora in a way that made me think and rethink just how much emotional weight she carried and held onto throughout the whole movie.

Movie review: Heretic Hugh Grant plays a reclusive Englishman who receives a knock on the door from two Mormon missionaries and a well-oiled thriller ensues…almost. The first two thirds of this movie fires on all cylinders, as we find that Hugh Grant’s character is a lot more knowledgeable about all religions, including more communism than he initially lets on to the two missionaries. The middle portion of the film has an incredible dialogue or Hugh Grant compares all of the main religions and their various ideologies and draw a comparison to a popular board game. He is challenging the belief system of the two Mormon missionaries by trying to help them understand that their religion is a derivative of those that have come before and then all religions share same/similar origin story. I think this was the most lean into portion of the movie that had all of my fellow audience members itching to know more. Unfortunately, the final third of the movie falls on it, but is still propped up by the initial 2/3. I’d give this movie a solid 3.25 out of five. Hugh Grant, nails it as a creepy antagonist.

Movie review: Conclave The Pope has died and the conclave is established wherein the cardinals must vote amongst their ranks to select the next pope. In a bid for the papacy, we meet several cardinals, each vying for the title. Some are progressive, others liberal, and some want to keep the status quo. Ralph Fiennes plays the cardinal, acting as organizer for the papal conclave and as the voting process occurs throughout the movie, we learn that some cardinals have hidden doings that may influence their electability. Confused yet? If you’re catholic, you’re probably familiar with this process. If you’re not, the movie holds your hand and reveals it all. The movie has a twist ending that may divide the religious community. In my screening, some applauded the ending, others sucked in their breath, so you be your own judge. In a world where some want progression, while others want regression, the movie asks you to consider Ralph Fiennes’ heavy movie line of: “certainty is the enemy of unity and tolerance.” Where he notes that it is okay to have doubt over certainty. Cinematography was stunning, acting was great. Story was tight and I see why it’s getting early Oscar buzz. 3.75 white smokes out of 5.

Movie review: Venom 3 More like ‘Meh’nom. Apparently, this movie fell into the writers strike era. Meaning, the movie was green lit, then stalled out, before getting restarted again. My take is that it feels disjointed, chopped up, and full of holes that never made you care, even though you wanted to. Tom Hardy held this black-blobbed mess on his shoulders and gets a lot of praise from me. This movie was a hot symbiotic mess. 2.5 Maroon 5’s out of 5. Though it’s really 2/5.