Case Southerland

(It's a shame there's not a zero-star rating on this thing. Oh well. Guess I'll just have to bite down on a pencil and give this one star. 🤢) I'm literally in the minority on this, but I'm proud to share it with the world! "Aliens" is one of the most pathetic excuses for a sequel I've ever seen. The first movie is the perfect masterpiece of horror and suspense! It's legitimately the only horror movie that made me cry out of fear, specifically Lambert's death! "Aliens" is just boring cheesy '80s action fluff with masculine forgettable characters that are just there to die, no sense of claustrophobia or desperation, the (increasingly ineffective) child-in-danger trope, subplots that I don't even care enough to remember, and worst of all, no horror or suspense whatsoever!! And apparently, the life cycle of aliens are that of bees. Yeah. A very uninteresting, unoriginal concept to explain the life cycle of a supposedly "perfect organism" that's now apparently so killable, in contrast to the alien in the first movie which killed five crew members single-handedly. Lazy. "Alien" should've never been turned into a franchise!

When most think of sasquatch in media, usually it's "Harry and the Hendersons" or the "Jack Links" beef jerky commercials us 2000s kids grew up with. Unquestionably memorable and great depictions, but what about Sasquatch as a dangerous, formidable force of nature that most imagine when they hear the name? That depiction is "Abominable", ladies and gentlemen! This movie is one of the most underrated creature features ever made! It's well-paced, has great practical effects, foreboding tension, masterful jumpscares, and best of all, the paraplegic protagonist Preston makes up for his disability with his wits. His "Rear Window"-like situation makes the tension even more heavy, since he's the only one that knows what's really going on next door and is unable to physically help. Highly recommend it! Sure. It's got a few cliches, but they are nowhere near fatal to this underrated gem.