Darth softserve

I fail to see who was drunk enough to allow this movie to move beyond the screen writers room. None of this movies jokes land and if not for its decent casting this movie could probably go down as one of the worst movies in history I mean seriously tall girl 2 is better than this. The plot is a non coherent mess with this weird half romance novelist half archeologist played by Sandra bullock somehow being kidnapped by a very eccentric version of Daniel Radcliffe because she could translate a made up language in a book. Then Brad Pitt but special forces along with Channing Tatum rescues her in a blue mini in there jungle. If you think this review is incoherent it pales in comparison to the movie. Then there’s a volcano, this weird betrayal of Daniel Radcliffe by this island native that was mentioned maybe once as if the director and screenwriters thought that people could remember this movie. then an uglier version of Lizzo rescues every one and Sandra bullock kisses Channing Tatum and it’s over.