Robin Khatsernov

Dogshit movie. Not because it had low-grade production or bad acting — it just sucks. No quality of cast or cinematography could rescue this torturously boring and aimless plot. Three miserable adult siblings who live vastly different lives and don’t speak, reconnect with their miserable father during trying times. The characters are all irritating in their own way and none of them develop. Dustin Hoffman is a mediocre, resentful, self-absorbed artist; Ben Stiller is a well-to-do businessman but the lack of his dad’s love is the thorn in his side; Elizabeth Marvel is the slightly-loopy-but-rational sister who’s also scarred by a lack of parental attention; Adam Sandler is a pathetic beta stay-at-home dad who would probably be that way whether daddy had played ball with him or not; and the rest of the cast is just as insufferable. It looks like Hoffman’s character might die at one point and Noah Bombach might at least jerk a few tears for a minute to wake the audience out of its slumber. And it kind of brings the siblings together (awwww how cute). But unfortunately he doesn’t die and we have to continue following this stale saltine cracker of a story to the end because we’ve already committed to it. Aesthetically, the movie is like The Royal Tenenbaums meets The Squid and the Whale, but beneath the surface it’s hollow of any substance. I could give it two stars, but one star just feels right. A waste of over two hours of my Thanksgiving that could’ve instead been spent watching Planes Trains and Automobiles.