Lisa Parker

I think Brad and Tommy Lee personally owe us our money back.. The elements of this film promised a multilayered, symbolic journey to the center of one's deepest fears. I'm a sophisticated film viewer, a literate critic, an observant artist We were bandied about the edge of darkest existential angst only to meet meat-making galactic apes. We traversed two hours of slow-paced, space-suited cinematography. We entered and exited endless anti-gravity astro-architectures again and again. We awaited at times rather impatiently, at the entrance into the empty, eternally echoing halls of our own abandonment. Who are these characters? Why should we care? Their connections are sketched with a hard tool which barely gives us a view of their humanity and passion. Without definition, they do not live. Without passionate and celebrated connection, we do not care. Left to examine stubble and the topography of the actors' skin did not bring me close to their imperfect humanity. Studying reflections in their visors did not keep me interested. A dose of space-pirate chase on the moon was tossed at us like a Scooby snack. The soundtrack was the only element tho keep me even slightly entertained and at intervals too long to satisfy. I could make comparisons to Conrad"s Heart of Darkness, point out the similarities to Apocalyse Now. Or in desperate attempt to amuse myself, toss out in parody, "Luke, I am your father". Nope, not a chance. Brad, keep your one climactic tear. We don't care. Not at all.