The Grande Cow

This movie sucks. I mean I don’t see Darth Vader or could you at least show me what Chewbacca is up to. I get this movie is about Qui Gon and Obi Wan and baby Anakin and it is set like 30 years before Chewbacca and Darth Vader become main characters but I mean I just love Chewbacca. I also hope Lando is doing okay. Anyways Jar Jar was way below par. I think it comes down to his aesthetic and his line delivery. I mean even a pizza man can deliver lines better than this! And the kid who played Qui Gon did a pretty good job. I actually freaked when he said “now this is podracing”. I would’ve loved to see more of Mace Windu though what’s the point of getting TJ Miller to play a Star Wars character with a purple lightsaber if he isn’t going to do much! I think that this movie did not hit the spot. It literally tried to shove in a Optimus prime clone called Darth Maul the last minute. Like come on man I’m walking here! Anyways I would give this movie a 1/5! They seriously could’ve just added more scenes of James Cordan and this movie could’ve been something truly amazing. But nope instead it had to be another night at the museum rip-off!

This movie is a masterpiece it should be held up there with the greats like citizen Kane, Paddington 2 and, The Godfather. This movie made me cry, laugh, prosper and a little bit greedy. I think that Hal Stewart’s arc in this production is perfect. How he goes from being a simp for Roxanne Richie to being a VILLAIN. Not only shows why simping is wrong? Sorry I don’t know why I put a question mark there. Anyways Megamind is a great character. I seriously think that Wilt Chamberlain was the best person to play Megamind and it’s not just because they look alike. You see, Wilt delivers his lines in a way that makes everybody wanna cry. I mean when he said “I got you again Roxy!” And “I killed Metro Man mwhahaha!” I lost my marbles. I seriously think that the only actor that might’ve been able to top Wilt’s performance would be an actor like Will Ferrel. Anyways Hal Stewart is the man and I would give “Blue Wilt in Chicago” a 10/10 baby.

The emoji movie is not a good movie. But I gotta say the poop jokes make this movie a 10/10. I mean when the poop says “should I wash my hands?” I laughed so hard my cheeks were sore and I think I broke my funny bone. This movie has TJ Miller and while he isn’t doing a great job as playing Gene you gotta respect him for being so committed to the roll that he only ever said “meh” in real life while filming this movie. I mean James Corden also doesn’t do a great job but he is trying very hard to make a lasting impression for the audience that you gotta put respect on his name. Anyways I’d gotta say this movie is a 10/5. The jokes just make this a untimely classic and an even better young adult film.

Timothee Chalamet did not make love with a peach and I was informed that he does that in this movie. If anybody knows what movie actually has that scene I would appreciate it. Imma go on a limb here and say he’s not even in this movie! In fact is Batman even in this movie? All I saw was Will Ferrell being an elf so why is this movie called the Batman? Anyways the movie I did watch was pretty lackluster but I did enjoy my bowl of soup while watching this production. If your wondering my soup was really hot and it had way too many olives for a chicken noodle soup! I had to wait 5 minutes for this soup to be nice and warm. And I am definitely not the waiting type and don’t even get me started on those morons who put ice cubes in their soup! Honestly where is the chicken in this chicken noodle soup it was just noodles and olives and maybe a hotdog. I don’t know if it was a hotdog but if it was where was the bun! I mean come on man I don’t got all day! It reminds me of the time I went to this fancy place called Applebees with my pop and they got our order messed up! I order steamed hams but they gave me steamed olives! I seriously do not like olives they get everywhere and it’s just a mess to clean up especially when pop is in town. Anyways I would give the movie “The Batman” a 10/10 but the soup is a 6.33/10. To anybody who read this whole review never get chicken noodle soup at Olive Garden like what I did!