It was a dark and stormy Saturday night, and nobody could agree on an after-dinner movie: the kids wanted a comedy/fantasy, mom a disaster movie, myself a documentary, so I flicked on the Tubi and *this* floated up to the surface ...
I didn't think it was possible, but this movie actually fills all these genres perfectly!!! Comedy for the intentionally bad acting and masterfully disinterested expressions on everyone's faces as they pretend not to notice the whole movie going down the drain with the ship; fantasy for the surreal CGI graphics that look like a middle-schooler's first attempt at a CAD project (so maybe the people in the ship are actually stuck in somebody's computer lab homework that's due tomorrow, hmm... that is so deep); documentary for the insightful depiction of the life of unmotivated actors caught in the midst of a doomed film; and disaster on so many levels, in fact the only bigger catastrophes awaiting the passengers on the ill-fated Titanic II beyond the monster waves, onboard fires and explosions, and crazy nuts running for their lives are that a) the movie seems to be already out of budget with 30 minutes left to go, and b) the director has clearly left the room. Oh wait, the director is actually the main actor, and he just teleported in front of two women climbing a ladder and then couldn't open a door because he was turning the handle opposite the indicated direction? Now we really are in trouble!
Let this masterpiece of cinematic brilliance be praised a thousand-fold!!