Thomas Lynch

Oh my gosh, how do I even put this review of a timeless classic into words? My experience with this movie was like drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate with rainbow sprinkles. It makes you feel all warm and good inside and is super colorful and fun. It keeps you coming back for more, and I am still waiting for that sequel. I swear, I woke up one morning and decided that a super relatable emoji movie with a phenomenal plot line and stellar actors was just something that had to be developed. I guess it’s by fate that a team of producers who are profiting from astonishing productions such as this one had the same idea and put it into action. I will forever be grateful for them 🙏. After the visual treasure finished, not only did I scream and cry because of how amazingly the story ended, but I also threw a shoe at the TV because I realized, I will never watch a movie as enthralling and breathtaking as this blockbuster. How did any other production company have the nerve to release another movie to try and compete with this? I swear, the haters of this movies are just jealous and malicious poop emojis! 💩 There is nothing to shame this movie about. On a happier note, I love how upbeat, sanitized and hilarious every single joke in this movie is, and they are definitely not hackneyed or clichéd, not ever. Not one got by me without me cracking up and me putting on my laugh-crying face emoji! 😂🤣 Just thinking about it makes me LOL. If I could be a year, I would pick 2017 because it had the corkiest gem of this millennium: The Emoji Movie. If I commit a crime and the FBI looks through my search history, I won’t be afraid, because all that will be there is The Emoji Movie and all of its merch at the highest prices (Papa likes spendin’ moolah). I would just be concerned if they get their hands on my limited edition tabs and started buying the collectors edition stuffies I called dibs on. This movie has class that not even Shrek can come close to. To all you insensitives out there who believes every piece of gossip you hear that this movie is not 100/10 stars, you are the Smilers of the world! You should be diagnosed with Terrible-movie-taste-itis. Don’t worry, there’s a cure: Have an Emoji Movie marathon in a Meh costume 45 hours a day until you die, in which you will engrave an emoji on your tombstone. Watching it burns cardio and makes you full, even if you haven’t eaten. I did it, and you better do it too. It also includes committing to buying every Emoji Movie merchandise you see and only eating emoji cereal if you’re about to die because the recirculated carbon dioxide just isn’t doing it for you anymore. I mean, nothing says Happy New Year like The Emoji Movie, because it makes you think about what life is really about: this prodigious movie. Sorry, I gotta go. New $1,000 Sussy Among Us Crewmate Twinning Jailbreak plushies were just posted on eBay a few minutes ago, but because you were wasting my time rather than letting me watch this infinite success or roll around and make meh sounds on my eclectic Emoji Movie collectibles, I didn’t see it and now negative 5 people are betting on it. Thanks a lot. Peace out, this movie was the goat.