Al Sanchez

Fr this is a terrible movie, but I'm also open to the feedback that I'm a joyless you-know-what and that it's actually fun if you go in with zero expectations. It's as if they decided to incorporate every single heist movie trope, only expressed in the most on-the-nose manner possible. You know how there's often some manner of physical challenge the protagonist must overcome to prove themselves to their crew/adopted friends/skeptical partners? Your man literally just had to catch a key dropped two stories, indoors, with no traffic around. Still made it look like an effort, which by the way I'm guessing is just the actor actually being a terrible catch irl. The writing was clunky, with the subtlety of a jackhammer. To be fair, choosing to mirror the plot on the 2010 World Cup final was inspired: an over-reffed match defined by stunted play and a stop-start pace is the perfect metaphor for this movie. Having them kiss right as Iniesta scored has me still unrolling my eyes, though fortunately that means I missed the fact that they just glossed over any attempt to wrap up the plot. 1/10, the Johnny Heitinga of movies tangentially about the 2010 World Cup (PS Gotta put some respect on JH's name, guy played for Ajax, Atletico, and Everton (depending on how you feel about those Everton teams I guess), among others. Also he got 87 Dutch caps, which is legit.)