Parker Minnick

I went into this hoping for dinosaurs. What I got was an hour-long boat trip, three recycled action scenes already on YouTube, and a genetically engineered dino that's somehow less threatening than the plot. No joke - half the movie is spent on a boat, (not even an interesting one). Just uninteresting characters talking for eternity and staring at the ocean like they're expecting it to deliver the script that never showed up. (The first time I've ever fallen asleep as well as beyond bored in a movie theatre - NOT KIDDING!) Then there's the Distortus Rex (Disappointment Rex) the big bad hybrid we were told would blow our minds. It shows up late, does hardly anything, and vanishes like it had better things to do. It's not scary. It's not clever. Honestly, a confused goose in a carpark would've caused more chaos. And Scarlett Johansson? Supposedly a highly trained special forces operator. Can't shoot a dinosaur that's literally right in front of her, then almost falls off the boat and nearly gets eaten. Her character spends the movie doing everything but being competent. She deserved better. So did we. You want dinosaur action? You'll get three decent scenes and that's being generous. The rest is humans walking, talking, whispering, and giving each other intense looks like they're in a gritty crime drama, not a blockbuster dinosaur flick. It's a film that genuinely forgets its own selling point - the dinosaurs! And here's the thing: out of all the movies that are easy to get wrong, a Jurassic Park movie should not be one of them. It should be simple - more action, actual suspense, brutal dino attacks, and a cast you care about. This had none of that. Somehow, somehow, this is the worst of the lot, and I can't believe I'm saying that after suffering through the last two. Jurassic World: Afterbirth is a film so bad it makes Fallen Kingdom look like a Spielberg classic. It's not just boring it's insulting. Skip the movie, save your hard earned cash and Watch the clips online. Rewatch the original. Burn the script. And for the love of dinosaurs, let this franchise finally rest in peace. We had so much hope for this after the last 2 and the promise of a fresh approach to the franchise - several people actually walked out of the theatre and the audience were just silent the whole way through, complete disappointment!! ☆So to sum this all up: Go out to a nice fancy dinner or go see something more interesting with action. Cause I probably won't be back to the movie theatre for a very, very long time after seeing that garbage movie!☆

TERRIBLE MOVIE!!! Do not watch, I was there for an hour, maybe if not a little bit more than that, and I didn't understand one part of the entire movie. I'm a huge Thor fan. My mom and I walked out after that one hour. Marvel movies are just so bad nowadays that I don't even want to go to a movie ever again because of that experience during that film. I said this once and I'll say it again: DO NOT WATCH!!!! ☆☆Huge Shame on you Marvel!☆☆