Beda Choudhury

A cringeworthy bore. Who are these people rating it 5stars and calling it an epic blockbuster? Lmao I cannot fathom how anybody who watches sci-fi or any decent movie of any genre for that matter, would agree with this travesty. This Snyder guy needs to retire. I tolerated when he made Superman smug but Rebel Moon as a new-age Star Wars? Please. Go. -Spoiler rant ahead- Zero imagination in alien world building. A Viking village where they drink ale, eat together in a community hall, farm with horses wearing masks 😭, but surprisingly have automatic doors. Some 30 miles away, a 'wild west' saloon with intergalactic crooks and a bar fight. Spider lady in futuristically overcrowded and toxic Tokyo/Shanghai who steals babies, a crow-horse in Texas with a slave-owner who makes illogical bets, Rome and it's gladiators on another planet with a washed up 'legendary' warrior waiting for strangers to remind him to take revenge, and a villain who has high-tech opiates, robots, and geared army at his disposal but carries a stick for a weapon 😭 Zero story depth or background. The main girl is basically Gamora. A simple farmer is in love with her and ready to travel to multiple planets to help her recruit strangers as their village's bodyguards 😭 He learns to wield a laser gun in under 3 seconds and is a better shot than the protagonist who is supposedly the deadliest warrior ('scargiver' is an apt nickname since she seems to manage only in giving scars, never hitting the target). A rebellion leader who takes the entire ship down with him by just tugging on a joystick in the firing chamber 😭 An enslaved prince whose only power seems to be of horse-whisperer. And what was with the Irish accent on whoever didn't have any backstory? Zero coherence. Lackluster and underwhelming fight scenes. None of the chosen warriors exhibit anything extraordinary. One can't shoot without missing, another has two laser swords but can't kill a spider without losing blood. Others don't even get screentime and are pinned down by regular foot soldiers, but hey, they are the greatest warriors in the universe. And they're all human! The movie is an endless collection of loopholes. The villain falls from the floating cloud port 1000s of feet to his death but is brought back to life with all limbs intact (not a splatter on the rocks) despite being dead a couple of hours. Did the robot become king of the animal world in their absence? Gave him screen time, backstory and end scene with antler crown, but unfortunately didn't invest enough to make a new R2D2. The scorpion shackles have one gun for performing all functions and just one trigger to differentiate between piercing the brain, paralyzing, and setting the captive free....and the noob farmer who's never held a gun can seamlessly operate it and switch between functions within 3 seconds of being given it. Sheeeesh! Had to take 3 long breaks to sit through this 2hr poor parody.