Noah Kite

I struggle to think of a movie in the last five years with worse acting—if you've ever wondered what someone means when they call a performance "wooden", this is a master class in it. What sucks extra is the writing drags down even the good stars; its lie someone asked a 12 year old to write western noir. This is the kind of garbage you put on in the background while you do a boardgame with the family.

It is an Alien themed Ninja Warrior course they chose to call a movie that wears all its plot functions so clearly on its form you aren't surprised once. And it somehow does too many things at once: pay multiple homages to previous films, recycle themes/scares from previous films, and add Alien lore in a corny way just to have something "new" to bring to the table. If you thought Prometheus/Covenant was a let down compared to the OG Alien, I feel the same way about Romulus COMPARED TO Prometheus/Covenant. Thats how bad this move is. A good movie lets you leave the theater energized—this thing left me tired.