HighVoltage Shock

Another hugely blatant attempt to modernize the source material that made John Carpenter’s slasher classic so beloved, HALLOWEEN II further proves Rob Zombie’s inability to provide much substance beyond its high level of gore or its incessant profanity, making it practically an overblown rehash of his previous effort.

Though clearly not sought to be a critical darling by any means, DEAD MAN ON CAMPUS is nonetheless a bitterly hilarious take on college life that’s bound for cult status, with Mark Paul Gosseler stealing the show as a conniving prep student who ropes his straight-laced roommate (played with equal delight by Tom Everett Scott) into a seemingly foolproof scheme that leads to disaster at every turn.

An insipid updating of the Roger And Hammerstein fairytale aimed specifically at the Radio Disney crowd, A CINDERELLA STORY really doesn’t add to much- and its tendency to lean towards over-the-top mean-spiritedness may put off many audiences. Unlikable characters and generic teen movie cliches don’t help.

Although not without occasional charm, PAIN AND GAIN is a strictly by-the-numbers actioner that revels in typical Michael Bay formula that mainly appeals to adolescent boys- that is if they can forgive the nastier qualities that the film too often provides. More likely to inflict more PAIN onto the audience than to GAIN their interests.

THE SLAMMIN SALMON has some laughs here and there, but it’s not one of Broken Lizard’s best as it plays more like a follow-up to 2005’s WAITING, with the same type of ragtag staff that revel in their own whacky hijinks to no great effect.

Matthew Lillard remains spot-on as Shaggy, and there are laughs here and there, but still very little improvement over the flatulence gags and other hijinks that "highlighted" the predecessor. The most loyal SCOOBY DOO fans should stick to the original 1960s cartoon series.

In spite of its lurid subject matter and its occasional tendency to over-glorify the graphicness of the film's central premise, THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER is a thoroughly intense, well-crafted, and extremely well-acted whodunit that benefits strongly from its solid cast and vivid suspense.

The director of such cult classics as HEATHERS and AIRHEADS has hit rock bottom by stepping behind the camera for this charmless piece of $2 resale trash disguised as a romantic comedy that follows the escapades of an obnoxiously overbearing mother. A complete waste of time and talent; Diane Keaton should stick to Woody Allen films.

Despite an appealing cast, with Jane Fonda doing her best and Jennifer Lopez charming as always, this “romantic” comedy is completely devoid of any comedic value and offers no novelty whatsoever, with tired jokes dominating it throughout the duration.

If such decent shows as MAD MEN, SONS OF ANARCHY, or HOUSE OF CARDS are too complex for anyone’s speed, this astonishingly bland, formulaic sitcom will certainly become their comfort zone. Lame jokes and poorly-drawn characters are abundant.