So wish that I knew this 34 years ago and of course my lawyers and judges. My ex-husband now deceased caused indescribable chaos and destruction to so many legal, medical, school teachers and more especially my son and family. My son now 35 is irreparably harmed. It should be mandatory for lawyers to read this. Thank you Rebecca for writing it so well and covered self carefor the victor. I dont think I can ever get over the trauma as you have fladhbacks and triggers but Rebeccas advice is excellent.Hope it will enlighten friends and family who have someone going through this. A very worthwhile read.