Zhanna Sichivitsa

Watching this was like going to a fancy restaurant, getting served a spectacular looking creation only to discover its utterly inedible. I was so intrigued at first then woefully disappointed. The plot is a slow burn that makes you think the resolution would blow your socks off, but it's just devil ex-machina dressed up in creepy house/freaks/dolls. There's no point to any of it. What's the point of killing all these families other than "devil made me do it"? What's the point of Longlegs killing himself? Or mother shooting the driver? Or making a girl kill herself decades after she was supposed to die? Yep, devil did it. Not scary or interesting, I just waited for it to be over.

How can a taboo affair between two hotties in a stunning setting be boring? Quite a feat and hard to explain how this was achieved. Perhaps the tediously slow pace, meaningless dialogue, pointless scenes, lack of chemistry and forced drama had something to do with it.

This is a well-manufactured money machine that used every ingridient available to bring in the dollars: star power, proven plot, rugs to riches, tear jerking and a puppy. I suffered through two hours of melodrama, committed to figure out why so many people loved it and I still don't know. In the beginning i was quite taken with Bradley's character, i almost forgot he was acting, but then his fake new voice started getting on my nerves. Gaga is a great singer, but i did not feel for her character at all. And then the finale ripped off Whitney Houston's theme song from the Bodyguard. Just wrong.