The restless aspiring Hindustani classical vocalist protagonist, of “The Disciple” Sharad Nerulkar, tries his hardest to settle his mind, as advised by the foreboding voice of Mai(his teacher’s guru) on a series of secretly recorded conversation tapes, on his many late night or daytime sojourns on the roads of Mumbai. He goes to meditation classes, chants Om in low humdrum tones, practices on the terrace of his apartment building by nightfall in the solitude of when the world is asleep, pays obeisance to his Guruji in the form of doing several chores, from massaging his back and feet to settling doctor’s bills, does practically every bidding of his but that which he desires, musical brilliance, eludes him. Technique can be taught but talent is a gift that you either have or not, Mai informs him when describing another of her failed students. Sharad is determined to be not like his father, a failed musician who turned to academia and scholarly works on the world of Hindustani classical music. In a manner of speaking he has been setup for failure, in the pursuit of excellence in a field he is just not cut out for.
Sharad’s father has exposed him to the intricacies of puritanical music appreciation, but has passed on nothing much else. Sharad has convinced himself he will do what his father couldn’t and it’s this journey you get sucked into. it is difficult to watch the melancholy play out as it does but also cannot turn away from. You are riveted by the absolute labor this man puts in to be good at something he simply cannot be! Yet it does not glorify the hopelessness, simply documents it and therein lies its pathos, like for many of us who labor on in life, in whatever pursuits we are thrown into or have chosen to.
The film is a slow burn, taking its time in setting up frames lovingly, making sure every moment within its frame of reference is captured and at once available to the viewer. Sharad’s absolute need to scale those heights of purity, where he can become one with the creator, puts him at constant loggerheads with some of the those around him that seem to make progress much more easily. But then it is his story, joyless, full of self-doubt, anger and self-pity even at times, that unravels in front of us.
It’s a compelling, demanding and observant film. Director Chaitanya Tamhane who has written the feature as well, is a fine craftsman, who makes it clear, his cinema isn’t entertainment, but food for thought, which like all those difficult books of poetry that puzzle, frustrate and confound on their first reading, make sense little by little, when it’s time for them to reveal themselves, by opening a nugget of wisdom, a grain at a time.
All the non-actors, turn in an enthralling performance. Aditya Modak as Sharad has a fixated gaze, which is unsettling. His physical transformation is mesmerizing. His skin tone changes as the years roll by, terrific detailing by the team. Mai's God like voice over is unforgiving, chiding and setting unattainable goals, asking viewers to be careful when choosing to listen to our internal voices !!!
Watch it in solitude when you feel generous with time and attention to spare, as it absolutely asks of you. You might yet have a moving experience. This is a meditative experience, more for introspection than for coffee table conversation. There simply aren’t clever lines that abound that can be recalled, no comebacks characters have for you to quote, just their humdrum lives and yet perhaps a lesson for those tuned in to its frequency.