Sean Simmons

I can’t take any more of these cliche tween CW knockoffs and family dramas. With only a few exceptions, phase 4 has been the antithesis of the MCU phase 1-3’s seldom broken winning streak. I will just have to read the cliff notes on this dumpster fire so I will be able to follow the movies they tie it into later. Moon Knight got my hopes up, but this show let me down as much as the star wars prequels and highlander 2. Insultingly dumb and formulaic. The characters are overused tropes, the dialogue inane, and the plot is rote copied from thousands of mediocre afternoon tween famdramas. The brother is kinda funny. He is really the only good thing I can say about the show. F- Zero stars. Two thumbs down.

It’s awkward and gross at times, but that’s the stand. I liked it better than the reviews would have indicated. Seems like a lot of the hate aimed at it was politically motivated. The acting and story are decent. The actors are good. My biggest complaint was the choppy editing. Too many flashbacks.

It is hard to give much of a review here without spoilers, so forgive my vagueness. It is a complex and eventful movie with a lot of surprises. It not only is a fitting and powerful completion of the current MCU spiderman trilogy but surprisingly redeems and strengthens the previous spidermen franchises. The special effects are spectacular, as are the action scenes. As with all spidermen movies, shows, and comics there are a lot of feelings and relationships. At times these are a bit slow but they are well executed. The action scenes are so overwhelming too that honestly your brain needs a breather at times, anyways. The pacing is effective and at times self-aware. The humor is clever and well-timed. The whole theater broke out laughing many times. The primay audience was clearly millennials but they threw in some love for many different ages and demographics. The film does a great job of contrasting different perspectives, especially between cynicism and innocence. It manages multiple redemption arcs and those are quite hard to do well. The movie has a lot of heart, just like it’s predecessors. Tom Holland’s performance was Oscar worthy. There are MCU movies I liked better than this one. I likely won’t rewatch this endlessly as I do deadpool and GoG. Still, i would say this is the best MCU film to date. Incredibly powerful, smart, original, and innovative. A+ PS. There is an end credit at the begining of the credits and a trailer for the next Dr Strange at the very end of the very very long credits.

It is too ham-handed and obvious to be called satire. It screams it’s climate-change message at you with the subelty and credibility of a peta ad. Di Caprio and Lawrence are good. It wouldn’t be a terrible movie if it weren’t so clumsy in it’s preaching. There are a lot of cameos. The social commentary isn’t wrong but it’s delivery is too spoon-fed. C

It was pretty awful but not as bad as I had heard. The acting and dialogue are abysmal. The plot and mythology make utterly no sense. They each speak in different accents which come and go. Why does iccarus have a goofy irish accent in ancient Mesopotamia? Why are there permanently children, old, fat eternals? For F’s sake why did super space god make one of them deaf? Angelina Joleine looks freakish. She looked more natural in beowulf. Seems like they tried to cover up the botched plastic surgeries with CGI. Why are beings the age of the universe susceptible to mood swings, attachments, and burnout? Why does no one’s face move? Did anyone even google “apex predator” before writing a whole script around the concept? If they are just here to [plot-hole spoiler] then why do they stay after their mission is over? There are many ancient star-faring species in the MCU. No eternals ever ran into any of them? And so on. The plot holes are endless. It isn’t as soul-crushing boring as Shang Chi but there is nothing relatable or original. Mostly it’s just dumb. Phase 3 of MCU isn’t doing so well, spiderman being the exception. If MCU continues down the toilet, will live-action DCU rally and stop being a train-wreck? I am very glad I saw it at home. The audio balance is nightmarish. The terrible sound-track and effect sounds are 10 times louder than the flat mumbled dialogue. I give it a D.