christopher Buehler

Pleeease give me however much money it took to make this thing. Granted, I couldn't make a movie with it, but I could easily do something that is worlds more worthwhile than this flop. This movie demonstrates that, whomever it is in Hollywood, that is responsible for deciding to green-light scripts, that person lives with so much privilege that they have become wildly out of touch with reality. Entertainment offerings that have this much production value poured into them, simply to waste my time without a shred of enlightening content, just makes me disappointed in our society. Maybe there was one decent joke in the whole thing, but it wasn’t the flipping the bird gag- as far as acting goes, that was a party trick- Mr Clooney, Mr Pitt, way to squander your acting chops for your own personal amusement! And Oooh yeah baby, all those meaningful staring sequences- what a tour de-force! Such eye makeup- so beautiful. But you know what, I'm literally mad that I had to watch the whole damn movie to figure out that they meant absolutely nothing. The writing was lazy; the contrivances many; and the plot development so slow, that my imagination about what could be happening next was the only interesting part of my viewing experience. None of this is made up for by star power. I mean, seriously, do actors not read the script anymore, before they agree to attach their names to it, or are they just slave puppets owned by a corporation at this point? Everything about this movie, starting with the title even, (Wolfs?) is Ridiculous! Give me $200 million and I'll title my movie "Gooses and Mooses", for you all. I'll get Meryl Streep to play a down and out Private I, and it will be about her getting framed for a murder she didn't commit, and then it will end. The film will randomly switch between black and white and technicolor, and a full quarter of the screen-time will be dialogue-free close-ups of her, while she drives to some unexplained locations. Ooooh, and, Afterthought, there will be a dancing frog for comic relief. Oh wait, maybe I can make a movie just as good.