Jen Weatherwax

I loved Rebels. This is taking everything great about it and turning it into bland disappointment. Episode 1: Visually impressive and Ashoka looks and sounds exactly like she did in Rebels which is impressive, but the plot falls flat on its face and is physically painful to watch. Incredibly contrived plot points, characters have to be psychic for the plot to work, and fan favorite character Sabine is reduced to acting like an edge lord to be “interesting.” **spoilers** Disney, please stop making Mary Sue Jedis. Not everyone needs to be a Jedi to be interesting. Sabine was already an amazing engineer, artist, and Mandalorian warrior. This series took what used to be a great character and turned her into a bratty, pointlessly edge lord, Jedi. How many more times do we have to watch the, “Jedi master screwed up with their padawan” plot unfold? Or apparently yet another youngling escaping death at the Jedi temple and deciding to become a Sith? Also, Hera defending the theft of the map like it was fine, because Sabine felt like sipping coffee with her cat like an idiot, just compounded the stupidity. Do the writers think Sabine risking the start of a war so she can chill with her cat is supposed to make her character relatable? Also, trying to arrest a commander for not showing up to give a speech? So contrived it hurts. There was so much cringe it’s hard to say what the worst moment in the episode was but letting strangers board a heavily guarded prisoner transport to, “call their bluff”? Is the captain of this prison bus 10 years old? And finally, how do people know that a buried map, thousands of years old, can lead to a *completely unknown location* people disappeared to not that long ago? Everyone has to be psychic for this plot to work. And the map has to be psychic, too, for it to know where a rogue pod of space whales decided to randomly swim off to at the end of Rebels. I get hand waving some things in a plot with “the force did it” but this doesn’t even kind of make sense if you think about it for a few seconds and they don’t even try to make it add up and I doubt they’re going to find a way to make this map nonsense make sense in later episodes without time travel + psychics. Episode 4: Ahsoka was great in Rebels. Warm and aloof. Now she’s stern and lacks any warmth. Sabine was a tactical, highly intelligent Mandalorian. Now she does whatever dumb thing is needed to move the plot along. And how was it high stakes that she was threatening to shoot a map with a blaster that took a lightsaber a minute to melt through? She could have shot that thing and it would have done nothing. And why have a night sister in the show if she looks nothing like a Dathomirin? It feels like this show was written by people who have no connection to the source material or characters. The most painful part of this episode was watching more of the painful plot of turning Sabine into a force user instead of letting her be a cool Mandalorian. Slapping someone in the face with the force is so lame. Just shoot them or out smart them! Sabine was great because she could outsmart and out maneuver people - this Sabine is a poser. They took these two great characters that had life and personality and hacked them into boring, generic paste. It hurts to watch Sabine destroy Ezra’s sacrifice from the end of Rebels like this. Maybe a minor nitpick, but why give a droid a Korean name and then have a white British guy voice him?

A complete mess. The morals were weird. Diana sleeps with some guy her boyfriend is possessing and neither of them care about it. It’s like the movie is implying it’s okay for a woman to rape a man if she’s hot. Diana tells everyone one Earth to renounce their wishes and everyone in the world just does it - what? Also, the movie assumes everyone on Earth speaks English for some reason. A WW1 pilot manages to easily fly a modern 1980’s aircraft which is just one of many sitting around fully fueled at the Smithsonian 🤦‍♀️ The museum staff bully their new colleague... because she’s nerdy and into studying history and stuff. What?! 70 years later Diana is still devastated and unable to move on from a guy she knew for a couple weeks. Diana beats up a rapist: movie says it’s okay. The nerdy woman beats up the rapist: proof she’s losing her humanity. Villain asks shy nerd what her deepest wish is. Shy nerd, “To be an APEX PREDATOR.” Movie, go home, you’re drunk. Shy nerd spontaneously turns into a furry leopard thing from Cats. Wonder Woman puts on special, gold bird armor. It serves no purpose, gets ripped up, and we forget about it 5 minutes later - seriously, what was the point of the armor? Continuity went out the window: originally Batman had to follow all these clues to figure out who Wonder Woman was, but in the 80’s she was running around fighting crime everywhere. And no one ever mentions how WW3 went down in the 80’s. Also, undoing the wish for fake nukes, wouldn’t have stopped the real nukes from going off. Lassoing lightning to swing around like Spider Man??? She didn’t even fly her own invisible jet once. Billions of people and no one in the world ever tried to wish for the world to go back to normal? Steve walks around in awe of things that existed in his time (how are the writers so bad??) Oh look, fireworks, let’s fly out jet through them - and for some reason nothing bad happens. Jet: flies back and forth from US to Cairo, doesn’t require fuel. At least one person would have wished for that guy to shut the up so they could go back to whatever they were watching on TV. Invents a shaman character for no particular reason to tell them about history for 5 minutes, despite 2 characters being Smithsonian historians...? Also, the guy Steve is possessing might have a passport. Lastly, why in the world was it specifically 1984? Watergate is not featured nor is George Orwell, so why make this “WW84” when it being 1984 has no bearing on the plot? Pedro Pascal was good, despite the awful dialogue and plot.