Jay Pee

Gladiator 1: Maximus fights an enormous gladiator while dodging tigers and an impressive chariot battle in the Coliseum. Gladiator 2: Maximus’ son, Lucius fights Logan Ryan looking gladiator riding a rhino and a “naval” battle in the Coliseum with sharknado rejects. Gladiator 3: General Acacius’ son, Lucius’ step brother, fights Mike Tyson looking gladiator and six velociraptors in the Coliseum that was converted to look like a southeast Asian jungle. They turned the classic Gladiator movie into a joke. Look how they massacred my boy!

Shit acting. Shit plot. Shitty one-dimensional characters. Shitty dialogue. This is lazy filmmaking. I’m not going to waste my time telling you everything that’s wrong with this movie because there are simply so many. Nothing in this movie is believable and the ending makes me want to smash my tv over Clint Eastwood’s senile head.

There are lots of great movies that came out of 1967 with terrific plots ad acting performances like Cool Hand Luke, Bonnie and Clyde, In The Heat Of The Night, To Sir With Love, and if you want action, there’s one of the best Bond films “You Only Live Twice”. Le Samourai, despite all the glowing reviews, was not one of them. It’s ok to have a minimal of plot and action as long as the performances or filmography are outstanding but you’d get none of that here. The acting was wooden and stiff from everyone, not just purposefully like Alain Delon. There are tens of minutes just watching people do the most mundane things in silence like walking or dressing a wound. I’m surprised they didn’t film him cooking breakfast or going to the bathroom as well. You would think that a professional hitman would be much more discrete and not be the only man with a yellow trench coat and hat in a bar full of dark suits, or that he’d set up an alibi witness by not covering his face, or that he’d dispose of his clothes after the hit itself. Like Alain Delon said to the pianist in the movie, I think people were told to like the movie and they did so despite the reality.

Interesting that it was based on a true story because it contains every plotline, tropes, and memes we’ve seen in other narcos movies. A great cast wasted in a boring and choppy movie with some of the worst film editing. The lack of proper editing and transition means each scene starts and ends with a shrug of the shoulders for the viewer.

Lead actor is either a robot or sleep walking through the movie. He shows no emotions one way or another when put into situations any normal person would react to. Bad guys are caricatures of small town cops and sheriff you’ve seen in many other movies like Rambo or Roadhouse or random movies made for the CW channel. Random nice girl who go out of her way to help him for no apparent reason. He’s trying to help his cousin, that’s right, his cousin for no real reason … never knew why he was so close to his cousin, but ok. Back in the day, this would be referred to as a straight-to-video movie … B movie crap.

Meandering and plotless. Even the random funny witty conversations Tarantino is known for is kissing. Boring and pointless.

Nonsensical, unfunny, poorly edited, series of seemingly unscripted scenes.

I’m neither a NB fan nor a hater, I like some of their hits but other than that, their style of music is just not for me. This documentary is long and tortuous and should’ve been 30min shorter. It spent so many minutes talking about their upbringing and less about the mechanics of the band and how they became so successful. So many minutes also wasted on how “painful” it was to switch drummers and other drama and less about their musicality. In the end, this film is long winded and vacuous like how haters would describe NB’s music.

Low budget shyte of a movie borrowing from Robocop and Terminator. Lead character isn’t even likeable and why Stem chose him of all people is a mystery. I should’ve known what a stupid movie this was in the very first scene when he was working on his car in the garage in the dark and then when he’s finished, he opened the garage door and it was a bright sunny day. Nothing about this simple-minded of a plot makes any logical sense. The super soldiers has deadly implanted guns but never use them in a fight, only like to use them to threaten with. Why they killed his wife? Because. Why did they have to go through all this rigamarolle to convince him Stem is good? Because.

Standard quirky Guy Ritchie stuff you’ve seen before but it’s well done and the snappy pacing helps but the only thing that is so annoying and grating is the constant yelling … why does everyone yell all the time?