Elizabeth Klint

The loves and losses of this movie (with the latter violently outweighing the former) paint a quintessential picture of the unforgivable pitfalls of the world's worst and most agregious plague: heterosexuality. The entire film was straighter than the beeline I made for the trashcan so that I could cathartically vomit out the physical manifestations of my emotional disturbances. Never in my life have I seen such average cisgender men land such goddesses as they did in this movie, which, regrettably but predictably, will only serve to perpetuate the male fantasy of bagging a 10 when they're only a 1. All in all, a fantastic waste of a Tuesday evening when I could have been swiping through tinder or watching grass grow instead.