nikki

I went into this movie wanting to like it, honestly, for old-time's sake. But I came out wishing I never saw this, for it is another stain against a perfectly fine animated classic in order to please the woke babies. I never expected Ariel to be cast like she was. As frustrated as I am about the blatant pandering and black-washing, Halle Bailey really did try her best in a role that did not fit her. I felt she could be best as an original mermaid, something that wasn't this. This role felt too big for her skill level. Most of the time she appeared like she didn't know what to do with herself. On land, her character was mute, and when she expressed what little she did, it made Ariel seem dry, confused, and vacant. At least with the animated Ariel, her emotions were clearly written on her face in the land scenes. Halle did her best, but it just was not good enough. Prince Eric seemed decent, despite being literally bewitched into acknowledging Ariel's existence with a Siren's song. Because of that, he didn't seem to have any real ambitions or desires outside of finding the fantasy girl. Even under Vanessa's spell, he seemed semi-coherent. What? Didn't Ursula's bewitching turn Prince Eric into a mindless puppet where his freedom of choice was taken away? And why can't a male character be characterized as strong or heroic? Ariel has to save him in the battle; he has to ask permission to kiss a girl he likes, even in a romantic atmosphere. Prince Eric's character is reduced to a confused boy who has been rescued by a woman. I hate to say it because I love Prince Eric so much, but it's so pathetic. At least the animated Eric had guts! Needless changes. I felt like his song, "Uncharted Waters' was an odd addition that didn't seem to add anything else to the plot. Same with the wretched "Scuttle Butt" monstrosity. Talk about annoying! There was literally no need to gender-swap and species-swap Scuttle either. What was wrong with him being a seagull? Is it too overdone? I don't know. It was a forgettable character that made me miss Buddy Hackett's Scuttle. Sebastian was horrific and cringe-worthy when singing and dancing; humorless as well. Of the three animal sidekicks that weren't really sidekicks in the movie, Flounder was my favorite. Triton and his 'daughters' came off as stiff and unfeeling. Triton was cold and unemotional; it was hard to tell when he was well and truly angry about something. Bardem failed to hold that commanding presence the character has and made him look like a lamentable wimp who mumbles a lot. I refuse to believe those young women are all his children as well- they all look like 50 times removed cousins. Triton CLEARLY got around. Ridiculous. Melissa McCarthy's Ursula was the heart of this film, as she put the most thought and heart into her part as she could with such a trashy script. I just ended up waiting until she came on screen throughout the movie. She was the best part, honestly. Melissa should be the reason this movie does as 'well' as it is. Overall, this film is just a slap in the face to all that respected and enjoyed Jodi Benson's Ariel in the 1989 classic. The fact that Disney allowed Jodi to have a small cameo in it is the MOST favorable part of this movie for me, small as it may be to what they did to destroy her work on her character. It's not even close to how I envisioned it. Felt mostly like a different culture's version of the story all hacked up into ideological pieces. Once again, unnecessary, confusing, and ridiculous.

In a word, I would describe this film as absolutely dreadful! If you want to still have faith, trust, and pixie dust, keep to the 1953 classic!! While it was a good start, the film then started to make me feel as if I was being sucked into a soulless void. Everything-- the Hindu Peter Pan and African Tinker Bell, lost boys AND girls (because girls are just as dumb as boys and can just as easily get lost?), the wooden characterization of Captain Hook; the tired and overused presence of feminine power in order to save the day; cringy and nauseating dialogue, and utter absence of color or brightness filters! This was truly an awful attempt at respecting the animation if there was an attempt at all. It's laughable, it's infuriating, and it is as unnecessary as all the other annoying remakes that Disney continues to drag in front of us. In sum, watching this movie felt like a very slow, very painful death.