Raven Bluestone

How this movie earned a “92%” on RT baffles me. My husband bought this movie thinking it would be incredible due to the high score. My take? If I was in Hell, and they wanted to torture me, they would put this movie on repeat. I could sit on the couch and stare at the wall and not feel as if I wasted time in a way I did watching this film. There is not a more boring film in the history of movies. The two second clip of a rider and a horse that was the first motion picture is more entertaining. My kitchen floor is more tasteful than this movie. Watching this film taught me what it’s like to be a beta fish in a cup. “The Humans” is cinema’s equivalent to plain oatmeal. Plain oatmeal would actually have more flavor. We kept checking the time in the movie waiting for something, anything, to happen. Spoilers: Nothing happens. Literally nothing. It would have been cheaper to point a camera at a clear blue sky for two hours with the same effect, and more interesting. “The Humans” is basically like being constipated and you’re waiting, waiting, hoping, that you can get relief. That’s exactly what it was like watching this movie. Except, in real life, there was relief when the credits began. It was finally over. That was the only blessing in watching “The Humans”. Not the ending of the nonexistent story, but the ending of the movie itself. If you would like to experience a coma in the form of a movie, this is the one for you.