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Oh, *Dragon Age*, my dear friend, what happened here? As a big queer nerd who adores this franchise, I went into Veilguard hoping for that magical spark of inclusivity that used to feel so… natural. But now? Let’s just say it feels like a parade float that’s run out of gas. Before you get any ideas: I’m no gatekeeper here, no TERF-ish vibes in sight—I’m just feeling like the letters past “LGB” got swallowed up in a blinding whirl of “What on Earth is going on?” It’s not that I don’t want inclusion, but it’s like they aimed for woke and missed… straight to boring. The gameplay. Alright, Dragon Age has always had a depth that drew you in; now it feels like a shallow kiddie pool. My combat setup is tricked out (7800X3D + 4090 GPU, mind you), but it still runs like someone put molasses in the CPU. How did we get to a point where the series’ once-strategic combat feels like I’m mashing buttons to get to the next cutscene? If we’re simplifying everything just to bring in new players, maybe don't sacrifice *the* gameplay that makes DA fans… DA fans? And the dialogue—*oh, the dialogue!* In previous games, it was immersive, heart-wrenching, like bathing in plot goodness. Veilguard’s dialogue feels like someone asked ChatGPT to “dumb it down for a toddler” and called it a day. “Tone it down a bit,” I muttered to myself, realizing I just sat through the conversational equivalent of dry toast. There’s no depth, no atmosphere, nothing to get lost in. Remember wandering the Hinterlands, getting lost in its openness? Nope, say goodbye to that too; Veilguard took exploration and slapped a one-way sign on it. Linear? In Dragon Age? Might as well have put a GPS on my character’s head. And Solas… *Solas*. My guy, my enemy, my Joker to my Batman! What even *was* that send-off? I’d barely settled into my chair before he was done for, like an afterthought. All I could think was, “Who wrote this and thought DA fans would be fine with it?” They treated him like a side boss in a cheap mobile game! Half the beloved characters are MIA, too, and it’s like, did someone forget to pay their contracts? There are some crumbs of positives here—character creation is still fun-ish! A little basic, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers. I can give a quiet golf clap for that, but the rest? *Oh*, Veilguard, what have you done? I wanted to be wrapped in fantasy, not a weird lecture. So, for now, the verdict: *if you’re new to Dragon Age and looking for something to try on sale, then sure, maybe you won’t feel the burn*. But if you’re a long-time fan? Grab some tissues, a bucket for your tears, and replay Origins or Inquisition.