Julian No Last Name

This film is not abject failure. It isn't an train wreck you can't look away from like the Room, nor is it a movie basking in its goofiness like the 1996 Space Jam. It is the epitome of low end mediocrity. And for me, low end mediocrity is worse than abject failure. Because abject failure takes some effort to do. This movie is the epitome of corporate pandering. I watched it over the last weekend on a camping trip, and both times we watched it (we split it into two nights) I went into my tent before everyone wrapped up for the night. I felt like the movie was just screaming at me: "Hey, we own this. And we own this. And this. You should really buy that movie, its merchandise, and tell other people to as well. Make us money. CONSUME CONSUME CONSUME CONSUME CONSUME". The movie throws reference after reference, and doesn't do anything with it. Like you have Elmer Fudd (the bald hunter from Looney Tunes) replacing Mini-Me from the second Austin Powers. You can do something funny and interesting with that, but they didn't. They just threw it in. Am I supposed to laugh at that? It was an Easter egg, not a joke. Reference after reference after reference. It just gets tiring. The film doesn't try to be goofy like the last one, and even throws the "follow your dreams" moral in your face, like you haven't heard it a bajillion times before. Lebron isn't a good actor, but neither is Michael Jordan. It just felt like this movie was trying to be an actual movie, and to have the star be bad at acting just doesn't work well. All in all, it's the epitome of corporate pandering and unmotivated references. Most of all, it reeks of wasted potential. All of these properties, and they made a low effort corporate family movie with bad directing, bad actors, and the most repeated moral in the history of mankind. It's just blatantly mediocre, and not worth the money to buy or stream. If you have the ability to tag along and watch it while someone else pays, go ahead, it won't kill you, but it's not worth your money.