Justin Colman

One of the worst written movies I've ever watched. There's 0 redeeming qualities in this film. It's definitely not a horror movie as it's classified. Nothing flows in this movie. The only protagonist is a straight up asshole; also the actress is not very good at all. The scary witch turns out to be a herb medicine old lady healer that just wants to help, despite literally antagonizing the protagonist the entire movie. And despite that the protagonist literally rips up the old ladies garden which is presumed to be the only thing she cared about. So that made no sense whatsoever. There's probably around 20-30 moments where you'll think the writing in the movie is so dumb. Like the witch being a nice old lady and telling us she's not a witch but a gardener, despite literally being a fucking witch the entire movie and haunting the protagonist. It makes me fucking puzzled that people can make these movies in 2024. Why did the first chef lose his fucking mind if the witch isn't a witch? We dont know and dont find out. It was just to make us believe the witch was evil and driving people crazy. But then she tells us she isnt a witch and just wants to help. I cant stand writing like that. Its bullshit. the movie had an interesting premise but I can't appreciate a film that tries to be smarter than it's audience when it's just ego inflated garbage. Don't get me started on how a little old lady dug a fucking man size 100 yard tunnel with just a hand held garden shovel. The movie shows us that Noone had been there since the old lady, so where did 100 yards of fucking dirt go? Who put the shelf back in place? If the mob knew she was in there why wouldn't they uncover every stone until they found her? Also there's a visible metal door that's right next to the driveway and Noone thought to open the thing in decades? Why the he'll was the kitchen so dirty it looked like it hadn't been touched in decades but the movie shows us that the first chef also lived there before her? It's just such terrible fucking writing. If you want to watch a culinary suspense movie, I highly recommend you watch The Menu instead of this god awful movie that has no direction or point to it.

Solid comedy, I'm not the biggest fan of akwafina but she was fine. It's not gonna win an Oscar but it's very solid in the comedy and action, everything moves pretty straightforward. I enjoyed that it was self contained, nothing political or woke, just a movie. John Cena proves yet again how easily he can carry a movie, and just like Ricky Stanicky, every seen he's in you want to watch.