It was on shaky ground after a while because it became apparent that she really didn't have the emotional stability to contribute to the undisturbed Zen atmosphere of her surroundings, -as she admitted to breaking down and crying regularly, for years, in front of lots of people. However, I still took it to the beach intending to finish it, but, when I reached page 150 and read:
"I don't want to get married, and I probably won't - but not because I'm a nun. I don't want to get married because, frankly, I think it's a tool of white supremacist capitalist patriarchy that makes sense only if you want to protect your money and your stuff and your kids. If you don't have money and stuff and kids, there's little point to it" - She wrote all that after praising her parent's marraige. So, needless to say, I shook my head in disbelief a few times and decided not to finish it. Also, how she lays out her relationships with her masters tells me (and I am very, very intimate with Japan and the Japanese) that they took her on as their Zen burden/duty (her master told her not to tell anyone she was ordained for 10 years!) and ushered her through to the finish as humanely as possible. If she had been a man, she probably would have been thrown out. Read about male Japanese monasteries and you'll probably agree. - This book is very useful to psychiatrists and psychologists as resource material.