Thaddeus Burns

This film doesn't make any sense. I know I'm saying that about a story about a magical candymaker, but it really is just the most ridiculous product. I would go so far as to say that the widely panned 2005 Tim Burton film with Johnny Depp was almost respectful compared to this, and that's saying a lot. I wanted to break down the issues with this movie, but I've realized that would make for a really long and spoileriffic review. It would have to be a podcast or something, because I could pause the movie every 5 minutes and have something to say about what is wrong. From the throwaway characters who have to have their stories wrapped up in the credits, to the over the top absurdity of the "chocolate cartel", it's a mess of styles and intentions mashed together to suck money out of Wonka fans, or really just anyone who wants some kids to be quiet for a couple of hours. My group fell asleep hafway through. At the end of the day, this simply isn't a piece of art that stands on it's own. It's an empty, broadway-style cash grab with lots of references to the movie people remember from back in the 70s. You know, the good one.