Brandon Gray

I like the Action Bible but this movie was stupid. I like Mel Gibson in that one movie What Women Want but him as a director, I would not recommend. By Blackbeard's beard, this flick be no treasure! 'Twas like walkin' the plank into a sea of misery and woe! The blood be spillin' like grog at a pirate's feast, and the violence be as brutal as a cannonball to the gut! Arrr! The dialogue be as wooden as a ship's mast, and the characters be as shallow as a tide pool! I'd sooner walk the plank than sit through another minute of this bilge! Sail far, far away from this cursed film, me hearties! Save yer pieces of eight for a tale worth tellin'! "The Passion of the Christ" be a shipwreck of a movie that'll leave ye wishin' ye'd been marooned on a desert isle instead!