T. Unzicker

Being a teacher, I was very interested in seeing this movie. We went to a local screening and watched the long version (there are two, one 47 minutes and one 67 minutes.) I really thought that the movie would be long on research and practicality. Both my husband and I were surprised at the mixed messages sent by the filmmaker. During the movie she states many times that a parent needs to set up concrete parameters (rules) and structure for their children. She is agonizing over the purchase of a smart phone for her middle school daughter. She and her husband decide to get the child a smart phone for her birthday. Mostly, it is because the kid feels like she is missing out and is not "cool." She makes this decision after becoming familiar with the sexual nature of Snapchat and how young girls feel the need to post provocative images of themselves, among many other perils. The filmmaker and her husband decide to adopt a "contract" outlining the rules that their daughter needs to agree to. This contract is presented days after the gift of the phone. The daughter is obviously dismayed and disappointed by the "5 page (actually 4) contract," but reluctantly signs it with her parents. ...Well... Those requirements of the contract must've been too much to enforce for a whiny teenager, because later on the parents allow the child to renegotiate the terms to what SHE wants. Ridiculous! Where is the parenting? During this renegotiation, the father states, jokingly to his daughter that she does need it to get dressed... WOW! Did he forget about the Snapchat part of the movie?! Is he aware that Snapchats disappear and are untraceable? The parents are unable to review her Snapchats as the allure of this app is that they "disappear" (unless the recipient screenshots them.) In the movie, there was another parent who had a son that received an academic scholarship to Gonzaga. The kid literally played video games around the clock until he flunked out. He runs away from college and the mother finds him. Then the parents make the statement that upon his return home, he just played video games for weeks... WHAT? The cure for flunking out of college and running away is a JOB! They should've allowed him to live away from home, allowed things to play out, allowed him to fail. Instead of taking control of the situation, which I am sure was developing way before his departure to college, they sent him to an addiction treatment facility. That probably cost more than college. There are some good research-based statistics about the overall effects of screen time on a adolescent brain, mostly these are known. All I can say is discomfort galvanizes a person. If you're going to be a parent, you're going to be uncomfortable. The sooner you nip a child's "control by whining," the smoother the ride will be. A child who is raised "thumb on" with distinct, unyielding expectations and rules will grow into a productive individual. Children who are allowed to control a situation by incessant whining, temper tantrums and pestering are empowered to make and control decisions that should be made by adults. Adolescent brains are often incapable of making good decisions. Always remember, you are the parent, no matter how much they complain. It is your job to raise them, not partner with them as a friend.