Doot Slayer

Velma is simply punishment for mankind's sins. It's just God awful. The mystery aspect is non-existent, every single character is despicable with no defining characteristics or interesting developments, the plot is weaker than juicy fruit's flavor after being chewed for a solid week, every single joke (if they can be called that) is about as flat as a flower in a hydraulic press, all of them stick the landing about as well as wingless, tireless plane with no engine falling from deep space, absolutely nothing in this show makes any sort of sense and worst of all...Scooby Doo is a now a human that Shaggy is banging. I understand that humanity is almost irredeemable and we've committed innumerable acts of despicable violence and cruelty...but Jesus Christ, we didn't deserve to be punished by the likes of Velma. I feel dumber by having watched it. I physically felt the tiny little grey brain cells slowly leaking out of my ears and on to my sofa. After viewing this travesty (that not even a sadistic maniac would subject his worst enemies to) I had to go to my local hardware store, purchase 10 gallons of paint, and completely repaint the interior of my entire house just to be able to watch it dry so I might actually be able to feel something. Watching Velma is like watching the "Human Centipede" trilogy: it's so horrific and disturbing, that no matter how hard you try, you can't look away. Many people have wondered why Christ hasn't come back to us...this is why. Velma literally gave the Messiah a heart attack and he had to be resurrected a second time. I was actually informed in a dream the night I watched the first episode that God was going to spare humanity and take us up to Heaven...but then He watched Velma and changed His mind. We have been doomed to eternal damnation. To all those who look upon my words, may God, in His infinite mercy, forgive us of this greatest sin of all. And for the love of all that is holy and sane DO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW. Pray for those of us who have, our souls scream in eternal hellfire forevermore.