Andy

Full transparency, I am a fan of the original Jurassic Park films and I have never felt any of the sequels have ever quite lived up to or surpassed the first Jurassic Park film. This did not feel at all like it belonged in this franchise. This was an overwhelmingly slapstick, cheesy spinoff (and borderline spoof) of the Jurassic Park films. I felt secondhand embarassment for the legendary Steven Spielberg name being associated with this almost unbearably corny, unmotivated cliché of a film. The story starts with a Snickers wrapper singlehandedly providing the means for a mutant cross between a Rancor and the Alien to destroy a high security laboratory, which kicks off a long string of disjointed, more or less unmotivated events. You have no reason to care about any of the characters or their stories. The brief attempts at humor were painful to watch. The only connection to any of the other films was the presence of a small handful of dinosaurs, a single mention of an original character's name, and a couple brief interjections of the original theme song. If you want to watch this film, just know you won't get anything remotely close to a Jurassic anything film. What you will get is one of the corniest films ever made, a less than half baked plot, and innumerable inconsistencies in plot and character development.

Would put zero stars if it'd let me. Terrible writing, horrible cinematography, worthless/weightless story, and adding insult to injury by tossing such a beloved character in at the end? No. This is show running at its worst. This needs to be tossed into the trash as a horrific failed experiment. This isn't Star Wars; this is a wretched joke.