With a remake of the franchise's best: Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door freshly announced, and on the way in 2024. It's time to take a look back on the worst, the stinker that set the paper precedent for the next decade that followed, Paper Mario Sticker Star. Intriguing story, deep characterization, unique characters, stunning environments, unforgettable soundtracks, clever writing, and stellar combat to sink your teeth into.....have unfortunately all been ripped away! Leaving behind an empty shallow husk.
Forget star spirits, ancient demons, and dimension ending stakes, It's time for bowser to kidnap Princess Peach (With none of his usual flare or theatrics I might add!). Opening with a little bit of false hope, a book appears on screen akin to the intro from TTYD, and tells of the sticker comet and the festival that celebrates it. Mario and the Toads are all at the aforementioned festival, once the curtains reveal Peach the comet descends onstage, bowser appears and breaks it, quickly is bestowed the royal stickers power, takes peach, and dips. You quickly become acquainted with Kersti a small floating sticker crown who's the one and only companion you get for the rest of your adventure, with no combat abilities or decent personality. After meeting with Toads (Who all have none of their unique names or appearances anymore) the town is back together and Mario's objective is to get the 5 royal stickers back.
Time for the plumber to set out for all five generic Mario worlds, to fight generic Mario enemies and battle bosses....that are just bigger versions of generic Mario enemies. The world is a loveless art class diorama far cry from it's colorful storybook predecessors, and all the Toads WANT you to know they're paper in a cardboard world. Almost every bit of dialogue has a lame paper pun that gets less funny each time you hear "Crumpled, crinkled, and creased" so let's "cut" to the chase, it's time to dive into the combat. As with anything too shallow though, don't bother diving too deep because it's just not worth it, Mario has no attacks. Yes dear reader you heard right! No Hammer, No Jump, No Appeal, and No Specials.....How might I attack? you must be asking, well....all those stickers you've been picking up are your attacks and your items! worst of all, it's all wastable! If all of that sounds bad, here's where it gets worse! the developer's biggest crime comes from removing exp, the very incentive for engaging in enemy encounters in an RPG. The only reward you get from battling is coins, to buy more stickers, to use in more battles, to get more coins (You get where this is going). The bosses can all be one shot, with the right emersion breaking thing sticker. These giant real world objects have no place or reason for being there and just takes you out of the emersion (If the tedium didn't do that first). As a game developer, if you were tasked to make the most soulless bland instalment of a franchise, and take as much fun out of it as you possibly could while still letting the character move around, and sprinkle in some pretentious jazz music while your at it, the result would most certainly be the creative and artistic void that is Paper Mario Sticker Star.